Saturday, July 19, 2008

Picture This

The day started out with David waking us up by screaming at the top of his little lungs 'I stink' over and over again. I think it is great that the boy knows the after effects of crapping his pants; I just wish he would take the next logical step and start using the stinkin' toilet. I fear he has never quite recovered from the butt-pinching toilet seat drama from last month. As I carried him to the changing table, I could only think of that line from Apocalypse Now - 'I love the smell of napalm in the morning'.

We got up and had breakfast and started to plan the day. We were going to a wedding reception in the evening, so Angie began looking for something to wear. This act alone can sometimes be rather frustrating, so I grabbed Peter and we ran as fast as we could.

We went to visit Dalia and check out her new room, which I describe as Pretty in Pink. The last time we had met, Peter had offered for Dalia and her family to move in with us, so I was quite relieved to see that they were not boxing up their stuff just yet.

The kids had a ball playing tennis in the house and actually managed not to break anything. They wanted to move on to playing baseball and at that point, being the wise parents we are, we decided to move the afternoon fun outside.

We grabbed all of the gear and headed downstairs. We finally got the kids in the right position. Dalia was lining up to pitch as I explained to Peter how to hold the bat and swing. Just when we were ready for that first memorable pitch, Peter looks off in the distance. 'Ooh look, a bike' he shouts, dropping the baseball bat and running off to jump on Dalia's bike. I got slightly worried that he might have Attention Deficit Disorder, but then I reminded myself that...hey, have I ever told you guys how I broke my arm once?

We headed home with almost an hour to get the boys ready for the wedding reception. Angie insisted on getting the boys dressed up, which I found to be a complete waste of time. It should be socially acceptable and even expected that kids show up to any public event wearing a plastic garbage bag and goggles. Even then, I am sure our boys would find some way to get chocolate cake in their hair.

Before we left, I checked with Angie to make sure that she had the directions. 'Ye-es' she said in that irritated tone that implies the question 'Do you think I'm a moron?'. I'll let you answer that question in a moment.

We started driving and got to the highway. Angie, the navigator, did pretty well, explaining that we need to follow signs to the city of Wieblingen. When we reached the city sign welcoming us to Wieblingen, Angie got a little quiet. I continued driving and looked over at Angie, who was now looking slightly panicked and starting to get a bit frumpy, a word I lovingly use to describe when she is grumpy and frowning.

'So, where do we go now?'

'What do you mean?'

'I thought you got directions?'

'I did. Wieblingen. We're here.'

'Thanks, Frumpy.'

Needless to say, it took us about 30 minutes longer than it should have to find the place. This included the help of a seemingly nice elderly lady who gave us what turned out to be horrible directions. The place turned out to be a large restaurant that was co-located with an animal breeding farm. This struck me as funny, but I refrained from making too many jokes. The boys loved it, racing around and feeding straw to the goats, apples to the pigs, and cake to themselves.

The band came on after dinner and Peter immediately began worrying about which song he would sing. 'I could sing the ABC song...or maybe Happy Birthday, but it's not a birthday party...' I put his mind at ease by reassuring him quite firmly that he would NOT, under ANY circumstances, be getting on the stage to sing anything.

The day ended with two very tired brothers, fighting to keep their eyes open and both arguing that they were not sleepy. Strangely enough, they both fell asleep within minutes of being put in the car. On the way home, Angie drove and I was the navigator. My detailed instructions to the driver: home - just follow the signs.
[David was out like a light before we could get to Ladder Talk, but Peter woke up briefly]
1) What was the best part of your day?
Peter: When I have the rock. That big rock from the wedding.

2) What was the worst part of your day?
Peter: When I was in the stroller and I tried to jump but I fall.

3) What would you like to do tomorrow?
Peter: To go with you, maybe we can play football.


  1. I hope you're saving all this to torture him (Davey) later when he grows older, especially that part about wishing he'd use the stinkin' toilet. I'm sure his girlfriend, when he's a teenager, would love to hear these stories.

  2. Have you read the rest of the stories? I don't think having a girlfriend will be an option. A sense of humor, perhaps...