Domo Arigato, Mr. Roboto

After being gone for two weeks in Japan and China, I was pretty sure that I would not need any gifts to bribe the kids into a nice welcome home. On the other hand, they tend to take after Mama when it comes to materialistic displays of affection, so I thought I had better hedge my bets. You so wise, Papa-san.

The first thing that I noticed was that my kids had gotten skinnier. This baffled me, until I reflected on what two week's worth of Angie's cooking would do to me. It also explained why they were so thrilled to see me. Feed me.

After feeding the animals, we exchanged gifts. I gave Tommy a Chinese hand drum. I shit you not - the kid destroyed the thing within 35 seconds. So much for Asian durability.

After the robots, each of the elder Johnson's got matching t-shirts.

David got red, because 'I like red' and Peter got yellow because I could not bring myself to purchase the pink one he would have wished for. I lied and told him that they only had yellow in his big and manly size. I love gullible kids.

'Exchanging gifts' implies that I would also receive something, which I did. Oh, yes - I did.

First, Peter wowed me with his new gift of writing.

I still remember the response to my first scribbling attempts by my teacher at the time: 'Chicken scrap - dat wat dat is'. As you can tell, I never have done been gotten over dat. Instead of insulting the boy using improper English, I chose to praise Peter and his new 'gift'.

Destructo Dave must have been feeling a little left out, so he decided to show me his new globetrotting light trick.

There's no real trick - moments after this lovely shot, David threw the globe to the floor and pile-drove it into tiny pieces. He laughed, Peter laughed. I contemplated taking it back to the store for a refund and then laughed. Mama did not laugh, which made Tommy giggle. In Tommy's defense, though - he cracks up at anything these days.

Speaking of the Tomminator, he also had a new trick that he was dying to show me. And as I am sure you all expect, I was dying to see it.

Holy SHIT!! Check out Tommy. Just sitting there. You know, ...sitting...watching T.V. WOW! I'm not sure who taught him that one, but DAMN! Good on you!

Speaking of things that Mama will later deny, Tommy also learned how to blow-fish a window.

Man, at that age, kids pick up things so quickly. At some point in the afternoon, Tommy burped, which made the boys laugh for two hours and forty three minutes. I decided to save Mama the embarrassment and not ask where Tommy learned his new trick. You so wise, Papa-san.
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Ladder Talk:
1) What was the best part of your day?
Peter: My best part was when I get that robot from you.
David: When you come home.

2) What was the worst part of your day?
Peter: When I couldn't play in kindergarten 'cause it was a free day.
David: When I play not with my pirate ship down.

3) What would you like to do tomorrow?
Peter: To play with that I built.
David: Play with Tommy 'cause he so cute is.