Despite the shit-eating grin, what you are witnessing here is actually a birthday hangover in 3-D. Eisi turned 21 again yesterday and thought that he had wisely chosen a movie theater as the dark and quiet place to sober up. Yes, I am also wearing dark glasses and thought the idea was quite wise.
Not so wise was that Eisi had somehow forgotten that it was David's first movie EVER. Throw on top of that cool shades and you can totally scratch the 'quiet' section of Eisi's funnies. Not so funny was David screaming 'PAPA, I LIKE THIS! I REALLY LIKE THIS' at the top of his lungs every two minutes. That great, son. Now shut up.
Since we are working our way back to the main event Memento-style, I will now jump back to the scene just before David pissed off a hundred movie-goers. It all started when Eisi decided to teach Clooney how to 'go fetch a tree'.
I can only hope that at this point he was still tanked. I mean, come on - look at that log! Doesn't matter; Clooney is not one to shy away from nature, so he dove straight into the river to fetch the tiny Redwood for Master. During his struggle, Clooney somehow managed to cut his paws, though, which put a slight muffle in Eisi's 'silent plan'.
Luckily, or not-so-luckily for the Cloonster, this has happened before and Master knew exactly what to do in such an event - ditch the dog off at home and go watch a flick. Man, if only this worked with humans.
Before the tragic 'paw' incident and 'Hair of the Dog II', we were busy popping Eisi's bubble by reminding him again that he wasn't 21 anymore.
Ok, so both Angie and Tom look, hmmm....challenged, but MAN! Check out that bubble! Cool, huh? After Stefan's hubba-bubba display, David announced to adult section of Eisi's entourage that he would also like to be bubbly.
Hans quickly obliged and got him up in the air and floating about. Afterwards, Hans decided it was high time to pop Peter's bubble.
Peter was born on April 1st and I am his father, so he should be used to practical jokes by now. As it turns out, he's not. Who knew? Hans didn't, obviously. Without revealing the trick, he managed to get Peter to unwittingly smear black soot from a candle all over his face. Shortly after, Peter realized that he had been swindled and broke down crying. Thanks, Hans - cool trick!
Sabine rescued the boys from the evil Hans-monster and read them stories where little boys aren't tormented and women can cook. You know, fairy tales.
After lights out, the animals were relatively quiet. Tom was still partying like a rock star, but he takes after me, so this was not unexpected. What was unexpected was that Mr. Kaboomba thought he could actually win against me in Poker. Maybe you shoulda wished for an ace instead of a cool godchild.
Even though I spanked the birthday boy in more ways than two, eventually my bank was overdrawn. By day, I am super-Papa, but by night, I am Pokerhantus, the Indian prince, most notable for giving away large amounts of cash to strange looking women with nice hands.
After losing the deeds to my non-existent mansion to Lili, I decided to rack out. On my stumbled search for my favorite pillow, I discovered that some scallywag had already scored my spot.
Curses! I thought about waking Captain Blue-Pants and forcing him to fetch me a mid-size perennial, but that would just be cruel. Instead, I threw on dark glasses and initiated Eisi's 'silent plan'.
1) What was the best part of your day?
Peter: When we was by Eisi's for the birthday.
David: When we go to Eisi's.
2) What was the worst part of your day?
Peter: When Hans did that with the candle all on my face.
David: When I cry 'cause Peter he hit me on the popo.
3) What would you like to do tomorrow?
Peter: To play with Eisi my card game with the queens.
David: Play with Tommy animals.