Tuesday, September 29, 2015

Seven Up

Tommy's 7th could also have been called Six Up, since that's around the time that the birthday king began preparing for liftoff.

My ears slipped out to make a coffee and when I came back, the living room looked like Edward Scissorhands had broken in and gone to town on Tommy's stash.

I turned to check if Tommy was okay and almost vomited. Now I know what you're thinking - 'How could a chisel-chested man-hunk like you possibly have a weak stomach?' Well, even Superman had kryptonite.

Truth is, only two things can make my jelly-belly roll. The first is the smell of cooked liver. I hate liver. With a passion. I even spent a good portion of my life trying to get rid of mine, but I don't have the time to incriminate myself with stories from my Navy days. Besides, in addition to all kitchen-related activities, I get the pleasure of doing all the shopping, so my nostrils can testify in any court of law that liver has never been brought or cooked on these premises.

The second thing that will send my gut bucket-hunting is whenever I am subjected to cuteness. Not the 'oh, look at the cute pony' type. No, I am talking about the purely innocent public displays of cuteness that questions your manhood and rattles your position on hugging.

As I was gagging away in the corner, Angie came to my rescue with the real truth. 

'You do realize that Peter and David's gifts to Tommy were actually things that they wanted, right?'

'But when I went shopping with them the other day, they assured me that Tommy would totally love...ah, wait a minute. Are you sure?'


With that, my faith in humanity was restored and I left Tricky Pete and Sneaky Dave to play with their 'gifts' for Tommy.

After work, we met Sarah, Chiara, Alessio and Lisi for schnitzels. We got our food and everything was going well until Peter finished his drink and decided to order another one all by himself.

Angie was in the middle of telling me yet again how much she admires my biceps when Peter selfishly interrupted my praise by whistling as loud as he could. My jaw dropped and Angie's opened. 

'Did you just whistle for the waitress?'

'Yeah, I need another drink.'

'Peter, you can't just whistle for a waitress - that is really rude.'

'Oh, okay. Sorry.'

I looked and was relieved to see the waitress busy at the register. I was fairly certain that she hadn't heard Peter's harmonic faux pas until she finished cashing out that customer and stormed over to our table. 

'Did you just whistle for me?'

Instead of answering, I pretended not to speak German and flashed her my pearly whites. 

When that didn't work, I pointed to my first-born. 

'It was him - he did it.'

And that, folks, is the true story about how I witnessed Peter blushing for the first time ever.

'Check please!'
Ladder Talk: 
1) What was the best part of your day?
Peter: That Tommy got such cool presents.
David: That Tommy has his birthday. 
Tom: That I had a birthday and I had good presents. 

2) What was the worst part of your day?
Peter: When I whistled and the woman was made with me. 
David: That Tommy hurt himself.
Tom: That I hurt me really often and that in school that I was trying the whole time to get a turn and didn't get a turn. 

3) What would you like to do tomorrow?
Peter: I want to go in the city with Sebastian. 
David: I want to play with my friends and with Tom and with Peter. 
Tom: I want to play with my new presents when I'm done with gymnastics. 

No comments:

Post a Comment