Friday, April 29, 2016

Smart, hypothetically

So, I have this hypothetical friend - let's just call him Angelo. He used to take part in testosterone testing for medical research, so he's got enough hair on his chest to choke a Persian cat and he's been known on multiple occasions to make Chuck Norris flinch.

Now Angelo's wife - we'll call her Stephanie - hates cooking and has been known to ditz out from time to time. Today was one of those times, according to Angelo.

It all started a few days ago, when Stephanie's Smart car key's battery died and she needed to use the spare key. Despite being a total bad-ass, Angelo is extremely sensitive to damsels in distress, so he immediately whipped out his cape and ordered a crap-load of Smart car key batteries on Amazon. They arrived yesterday, so Angelo replaced the dead battery and handed over both sets of keys to Stephanie.

'Take both in case you have any problems, but make sure to test both of them.'

'Okay, Angelo. Thanks again, you're the greatest. Can I touch your biceps?'

'Later. You better get going.'

Stephanie confirmed that both keys work and then drove her daughter - we'll call her Tomalina - to gymnastics practice. The sun was shining so when Stephanie got out of the car, she decided to put her coat in the trunk.

I should pause here briefly and explain how a Smart car key works. It has two buttons on it - one is to lock and unlock the doors and the other is to open the trunk.

In Stephanie's defense, I'm sure she was daydreaming about her husband's abs when she got out of the car. She pushed the first button to lock the door. Then she pushed the second button to unlock the trunk. Then she put the key into her coat pocket - the same coat pocket that held the spare key with the new battery that she had just tested. Then she took off her coat and shoved it into the trunk and closed it.

The funny thing about a Smart car key is that when you click on the button to open the trunk, it does not open the car doors. So, if you are ditzy enough to lock your coat with the car key AND the spare key in the trunk AFTER you have locked the door, there is no way to open the car without calling ADAC to have them break into your car.

In a completely unrelated story, here is a picture of my lovely wife picking up Tommy from gymnastics training. Today.

Ladder Talk:  [David spent the night at a friend's house]
1) What was the best part of your day?
Peter: That I went to Sasbach and had a good time.
Tom: That I had gymnastics.

2) What was the worst part of your day?
Peter: That Arman had to leave so early.
Tom: That Mama locked all of the keys in the car and we had to wait so long.

3) What would you like to do tomorrow?
Peter: I want to maybe go to Tommy's school festival.
Tom: I want to have fun at my school festival.

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