The Birthday Splash

This is Peter's patented 'I'm so embarrassed because I am two hours late to your three hour birthday party because my ditzy mom forgot all about it' look. He gets these looks from Angie, by the way. I can actually keep track of my social commitments.

What, you might ask, could possibly be more important than taking our first-born to one of his bestest friend's birthday bash?

That's right, ice-cream. She's not even eating it the right way. I mean, who the hell eats an ice-cream by licking the stick? I can tell you - it would be the moron with splinters in her tongue, complaining that her afternoon snack tastes like wood. Nature girl was not the only one with dysfunctional ice-cream habits. Eisi apparently buys the stuff to feed to the splintered, while Christian's hording of the stash only makes Claudia chuckle. Whatever, ice-freaks.

Eisi also decided to get a little freaky with nature today.

If he had been wearing green pants, we probably would have lost the Hulk for good. Luckily, the phone rang just in time to stop Angie from French kissing the tree. After listening to the phrase 'oh, I'm so sorry' fifteen times, Angie hung up the phone, blushed, and then broke the sad news to me that I had to sprint back home and get the car to take Peter the Late to Artin's birthday. It was only sad because Angie knew immediately by my giggling that I would be documenting her almost silent brain fart for both of my readers. Enjoy. Or not.

I dumped Late-boy off and came back in time to find that Water-boy was also thoroughly enjoying himself.

Not thoroughly enjoying himself was the dad dressed in a suit that David thoroughly soaked while discovering the thoroughly enjoyable effects of a full water bottle and shaking. Hey, if you can't stand the heat, get your thoroughly suited ass out of the kitchen.
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Ladder Talk:
1) What was the best part of your day?
Peter: When I go'ed with my bike to the water playground.
David: When Eisi come here.

2) What was the worst part of your day?
Peter: When I didn't want to eat.
David: When I want a SpongeBob watch but it's too late and then I cry.

3) What would you like to do tomorrow?
Peter: To play with Eisi.
David: When Dalia.

Hide and go rummage

If it wasn't for Tommy's greasy digits, this might have been a pretty cute picture of the little nugget. I have to say, though, that this is probably one of the nicer pictures we have of Angie. She can be a tad bashful at times, so she might disagree with me and even make comments like 'you're an asshole' and 'I hate you'. It's okay, though; over the years, I've grown accustomed to translating these odd little pet names and peculiar flirtations. I know what you really mean, sugar pants.

For some strange reason, Angie felt the need to trick me into going to her parents. I love the in-laws and I am not only saying that in case they actually read any of my incessant babblings. That's why I am not sure why Angie tried conning me with some far fetched tale of taking the train so that we could celebrate the 1st of May by climbing up a mountain and getting hammered on wine. I'm not a big wine drinker, nor am I a huge fan of mountains, but I love hammers, so I was signed up from the gitgo.

We actually did take the train, which brings us back to the lovely shot of Angie's torso. When we got to the station, we realized we had twenty minutes to kill. My stomach then growled angrily and demanded fatty burgers and greasy nuggets. I know better than to argue with my own digestive urges, so I took me and my belly to the fast food experts.

'Fast food' my ass, which was probably 98% of what goes into their tasty heart cloggers. It took us 19 minutes to get our order, leaving one minute to freak like an Egyptian all the way to track number 1. I say track number 1, because this is what the 'oh-so-friendly' lady at the info booth told me twenty minutes ago. Anyone that has dealt with customer service in Germany will know exactly what I am talking about.

Needless to say, Frau Frown was wrong. Luckily, we discovered this with ten seconds to spare. Not so luckily was that we were 20 seconds away from the correct platform. In the end, the train conductor either had a weak spot for five year olds crying or thought 'hey, check out that torso'. Either way, both Peter and 'The Body' were very grateful that we were able to board. Uh, yeah...me, too.

Now back to the tricky part. We got to the station, where I began demanding my wine. 'Not yet' was the rather annoying mantra for the 45 minute walk to Casa de Opa. We arrived in time for lunch - my first fresh asparagus this year. The food was great, but my wine-ing continued. 'Not yet' quickly turned into 'shut your wine-hole'.

By the time dessert came, I realized that there was no mountain full of wine and that Angie really wasn't flirting with me when she whispered 'I hate you' in my ear. Luckily, Opa could take my mind off of this tragic discovery with a lovely new game that apparently he invented.

I guess 'hide and go seek' is too 'old school'. The new school must now 'hide and go rummage', which brought David to the next level on his funk-o-meter. Not surprisingly, David loved hiding out in the dumpster and it actually took some persuading to get Oscar to come out. At some point, Angie ventured out and questioned why David was stuffed into the trashcan. After a brief explanation, Angie proceeded to express her thoughts. After five minutes of her 'expression' my only response was 'I know what you really mean, sugar pants.'
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Ladder Talk:
[David racked out before tackling the ladder]
1) What was the best part of your day?
Peter: When Eisi is sleeping here.

2) What was the worst part of your day?
Peter: When we almost missed the train.

3) What would you like to do tomorrow?
Peter: To play with Eisi 'Hide-n-seek'.

Hanging out with the bikers

I don't know what I enjoy more - last year when David was too much of a lazy ass to ride his bike anywhere or this year, when he is too fast and too furious to stop, even when Papa yells at the top of his lungs. At least Vin Diesel, Jr. has a helmet, although the pedestrians that run away from him screaming would probably make better use of the protective gear.

After racking up fifteen points for running over a nun, a dog and a parked car, we made it to the clinic. As Angie got her well-needed whiff of new baby smell, Lauri got his first dose of the Zoo and let me just say that the animals were in full roar.

You'll notice that there is a fire extinguisher behind Angie. I guess the hospital knew that Angie would be visiting and thought that she might, for some strange reason, decide to start cooking. Unfortunately for the insurance company, Angie does not win her way to a person's heart by cooking. She does like spending my money, though and as Lauri's future godmother, he can certainly expect a lot of non-edibles.

Speaking of food, I left at one point and raced home to throw a roast in the oven. I borrowed Sami's bike so that I would not take that long. Apparently, I should have pedaled faster.

Not only did I find Sami giggling away at how cruel he can be to his godchild; I also discovered that our three boys plus a newborn makes Angie's ears hurt. A cute little knock-on effect of Angie's ears aching is that she starts shaking with anger until her inner rage is released on her unsuspecting husband as he returns FROM COOKING A FREAKIN' ROAST FOR HER!! Unlike the normal sensitive Metrosexual that I am, I cranked up her hearing aid and rather loudly emphasized this point. Like the pedestrians in David's path of wrath, I was soon feeling the need for some protective gear.
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Ladder Talk:
1) What was the best part of your day?
Peter: When we saw Lauri.
David: When Peter cannot talk.

2) What was the worst part of your day?
Peter: When Lauri cried.
David: When I cried 'cause Dalia come not.

3) What would you like to do tomorrow?
Peter: To play pirates.
David: When Peter go out and look with me.