Saturday, April 18, 2009

The mind is a terrible thing to...what was I saying?

This morning Peter's mind went missing. It was sad, actually. It was there when we started playing a card game that was supposed to teach the boys about the four food groups. At some point between back-to-back wins of grains and vegetables, Peter's brain disappeared. He jumped up onto the table like a savage and started screaming something about feeding him dairy products and meats. Mama was too stunned for words and I was busy fumbling for the camera.

After the 4-H village idiot found his noggin again, we shifted focus to Destructo Dave, who was intent on breaking our bench by cramming his big brain into it.

This morning we discovered that yelling 'get out of there right now' only makes two-year olds giggle and wiggle. It also makes Mamas and Papas mad and sad. I just don't get it - the weather warms up a bit and the entire family freakin' loses it. Is the collective Johnson brain that sensitive to heat?

Speaking of sensitive, Peter has been a little touchy lately about my constant reminders that he cannot whistle. I tried to remind Mr. Sensitive that if he could actually whistle, we wouldn't even be having this blog. At this point, Mama muttered something about holes and donkeys. Honestly, though, I am so used to Angie not making sense that I stopped paying attention to her years ago.

I guess Peter realized that he needed to do something to earn Papa's 'check me out' attention. And, as everyone knows, the next best thing to whistling is snapping.

In addition to his mind, Peter's fingers also learned to snap. Right on, right on. Peter may have lost his gourd, but at least he has finally earned his Indian name 'Snaps on Tabletops'.

Peter's amazing 'snapping' trick was great the first time. By the 536th time, I was so freakin' wowed, I lost my mind and tried to provide some feedback to the Great Snapper. Smart Mama stopped me just after 'You know what, Peter...'. They don't call her Mama for nothing.

You'll notice that I mentioned losing my mind above. If you pay close attention, you'll also read that I never found it. That comes later. Before later, my lost mind thought it would be hee-hee-larious to decorate one of the slats underneath Peter's bunkbed.

Somehow, I thought my humorous graffiti would go unnoticed until some point much later in time when Angie might actually find it funny. What Peter is lacking in brains he gains in eyesight, though, and his self-proclaimed 'tiger eyes' immediately picked up on my art and liked it so much, he asked Mama what it said.

So not only can Peter not whistle, he cannot read. Too bad, he might have had a good laugh and saved Papa a night on the sofa. Instead, it was Mama's turn to lose her mind. Let me just say that Mama was not too stunned for words and I certainly was not fumbling for my camera.
Ladder Talk:
1) What was the best part of your day?
Peter: When I go'ed with Dalia to Happy Kids.
David: When we have up high a pirate ship.

2) What was the worst part of your day?
Peter: When Dalia couldn't stay a little bit and play with me.
David: When Peter was in my bed.

3) What would you like to do tomorrow?
Peter: To play with Dalia Easter bunny and little dragon and little lion.
David: To play with the white cat.

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