Friday, April 10, 2009

Takin' it higher

Simon says 'Get high'. Peter and David certainly do not listen to me, so I have no idea why I thought they would listen to some stoner named Simon. As I learned today, though, if you want your hell-rats to follow simple commands, you only need to prefix them with 'Simon Says'. It works. I don't know why, but I have learned years ago to stop questioning the logic behind anything that keeps the yappers from yapping.

Speaking of illogical yappy types, we went down to the river today, where Angie hung out with a whole flock of yappity ladies. Obviously, I caught the gaggle here during feeding time.

One might ask what the males were doing while these birds pecked, nibbled and gossiped. To that, I would slap you twice and ask YOU what you THINK we were drinking?
While the BIG boys secured the future of barley and hops farms across the world, Peter and Arman were busy making monkeys jealous.

After strenuously watching the BIG boys getting high, Tommy must have felt a little left out. To feel a little left in, he jumped in my backpack. This was actually pretty funny, until he touched my coffee cup. Do NOT touch my coffee cup. Don't look at it, don't drink from it, don't even SMELL my coffee mug. What I forgot to scream at Tommy No Ears was 'Simon says' not to drool, spit and giggle into my beloved coffee cup.

After coffee, cake, and explaining to Angie why I had a baby kangaroo in my pouch, I thought it would be wise to teach the other Joeys 'the basics'.

Basically, Angie has been known to occasionally lose it and think she can branch beyond microwaves and take-out food, so I felt it to be crucial that the boys know how to call the fire department. Here in Deutschland, you dial 112, despite the Finnish yahoo who is holding up the number five. Miss Pretty in Pink is just there for aesthetic reasons.

Speaking of aesthetic, check out this hottie....

The chick without the goatee isn't so bad, either.

This was actually quite a cute picture of Tom getting high, until he peed down my neck. Then it was a funny picture if you ask Angie, which I certainly would not. If you ask me, provided I am not Angie, it was not funny. At all. First the kid French slobbers my coffee mug and now this? If he gets a strike three today, I am renaming him to Milhouse and will laugh my ass off until he is out of school.

I've heard if you get stung by a jellyfish, you should have someone pee on you and then go eat ice-cream. I wasn't stung by a jellyfish, but the ice-cream helped take my mind off of getting peed on.

While waiting in line for ice-cream, I told all three of them to be serious for a moment. As you can see, they listened about as well as Tom stands. In their defense, it was me that told them and not Simon the pothead with his freaky voodoo mind control.
Ladder Talk:
1) What was the best part of your day?
Peter: When I had an ice-cream.
David: When we saw Dalia by the water thing.

2) What was the worst part of your day?
Peter: When I climbed up the tree and it was fun but when I wanted down I couldn't go.
David: When I eat Peter's ice-cream and I cry 'cause you said I go lay in bed and sleep.

3) What would you like to do tomorrow?
Peter: To play with you and Mama upside down.
David: When Tom is playing.


  1. See, this would have been a perfect reason why you should artificially concoct dialogue for Tom. Here's how I see it playing out:

    1) What was the best part of your day?
    Tom: Feeling much better after I peed, which made mama laugh and papa's face turn funny.

    2) What was the worst part of your day?
    Tom: Not being able to eat papa's cup.

    3) What would you like to do tomorrow?
    Tom: Maybe pee on papa again.

    As you can see, I'm an expert in infantile thought projection, as I've had a lifetime of experience. Also, I think Peter has the "stare-down of domination" mastered. I wonder where he gets it from?

    By the way, I'm finally putting effort in actually getting my own blog up and running. I'm trying to work out the format and content, so I may ask for some advice. I thought you might be curious, as it'll give me something to do other than stalk yours (still love reading it though). Hope you guys had a frohe Ostern!

  2. You made my's all overcast and horrid and lonely here, so I thought I'd actually, you known, just once, comment on your blog ;)

  3. Kato: I think it's great that you are finally getting your blog started - I can't wait to send you my comments :-) One story you will have to start with is the "Famine Day" tale - that still cracks me up.

    Esther: Glad I was able to make someone's something. Usually the someone is Angie and the something is angry.