Friday, April 29, 2011

Home Alone, Day Two: Toys-R-Loud

Day two started out quietly. Well, as quietly as is inhumanly possible with three animals, abandoned by their mother and clearly instructed to drive their father freakin' insane. After a healthy dose of chocolate cereal and jelly beans, I was backed into a corner and growled at. When I saw teeth, my survival instincts kicked in.

'Right, shoes on - we're going to Toys-R-Us.'

My brain should really be donated to medical science for fathers everywhere to study and admire. The boys laced up in record time and almost ran over Sebastian, who had come up to see if Peter and David could play.

'No, we're going to the toys, they're all mine, outta the way!'

After explaining to David what would happen if he didn't stop shaking and calm down, he turned and raced down the steps, giggling like a mad man and screaming 'you never catch me, Papa!'.

As I contemplated whether Angie would notice if I happened to lose one of our children, Sebastian asked where Angie was. Without pausing, Tom explained.

'Mama went to eat chickens.'

Peter and I looked at each other and burst out laughing. Apparently, Mr. Big Ears has heard us talking about Mama's trip to Turkey and simply accepted without question that she had ditched her family to go off on a four-day poultry binge. I chuckled for another minute and made a mental note to break out the globe with Tommy.

Toys-R-Loud was great. Great in the sense that nobody got arrested, but it pretty much stopped there. [Note Tommy's shirt: NOTHING CAN STOP ME]

I did gain an admittedly reluctant respect for Angie, who somehow manages to control twenty of these funny creatures called 'kids' every day. It does explain the occasional screaming matches with our plants and why she sometimes spends an entire night telling jokes to the canned vegetables in our pantry.

After escaping with only a major dent to my credit card, I rounded up the animals and headed home for feeding time. After exchanging a couple of one-sided knock-knock jokes, I grabbed a can of corn to compliment - you guessed it - a roasted chicken.
Ladder Talk:
1) What was the best part of your day?
Peter: That we go to Toys-R-Us.
David: That we go on the playground with Artin.
Tom: I was go playground.

2) What was the worst part of your day?
Peter: I didn't have a worst part.
David: That Peter grab me on the shirt and I fall down.
Tom: I cry 'cause I can not with play.

3) What would you like to do tomorrow?
Peter: I want to play BeyBlades.
David: I want my Gormiti eggs to hatch.
Tom: Then pick a story out.

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