Thursday, May 1, 2014

Time for a change

After a rather loud breakfast, I rallied the animals together and explained that I was going to Opa's to change the winter tires. 

'So, who's with me?'

I had fully been expecting the silence that accompanies me asking my children to do, well, pretty much anything. David surprised me, though. For a change.

'Do you think I can push that button that makes the car go up in the air?'


I think Horst was pleasantly surprised to find that David had volunteered to be his helper. I'm complete crap at anything mechanical, so I was also pleasantly surprised to have someone else that could hold the flashlight. 

The first thing that Opa did was to lift the car up and strike a pose. 

'Chuck Norris does not use car lifts; he lifts cars!' 

The only problem with the initial lifting of the car was that Opa had been the one to push the button. David stood firmly on the sidelines, but his quivering lip was borderline crushed. 

After checking whatever underparts of the car that should be checked regularly, Opa announced that he was going to lower the car so that we could finally change the winter tires.

I was just about to jump in with a speech I had prepared on the spot that goes something like 'Horst, if you don't let Davey hit that red button over there, you're going to witness a scene that would put Meryl Streep to shame.'

Before I could say anything, prepared or otherwise, Opa turned to Davey. 

'Do you want to push the button?'

You might as well ask a Vegan if they would like to have Tofu for breakfast.

Davey lowered the car until Opa told him to stop. David didn't stop, which surprised Horst much more than me. 

'You went down too far. Go back up!'


David then raised the car until Opa told him to stop. David didn't stop, which didn't seem to surprise Horst as much as the first time. 

For a rather brief moment, I thought Opa was going to say something like 'You went up too far again. Go back down!', but apparently I was not the only one that had picked up on David's car-lifting grin. 

The grin faded as Opa took back control of the beloved button and lowered the car back down to the regulation level for tire changing. 

David's grin was replaced with gritted teeth as his ears tested out Opa's pneumatic drill. 

Opa then made the mistake that I have made many, many, many times before. He thought that David was busy drilling away and couldn't hear him as he gave me a safety lesson on using high-pressure air hoses.

'You have to be careful with these things. A guy got killed one time because his friend thought it would be funny to shove one down the back of his pants.'

David might not be able to listen, but he can hear really well. And, as a single digit, he hasn't quite mastered the art of letting things go. 

'Opa, why was the man killed?'

'Ah, never mind. How about you help me with the last tire?'

'But, why did the friend DO that?'

'Hey, do you want to use the drill again?'

'But, Opa - how can a person be killed with an air hose, just because it is in his pants?'

I absolutely knew the look on Horst's face. It's the one when you a) still cannot fathom that such tiny ears actually heard you and b) you are desperately racking your brain with ways to try and distract whoever it is that is putting you on the spot. Time for a change...of subjects.

I whispered into David's ear that we would be stopping at McDonald's on the way home. 

'Bye, Opa!'

He can thank me later.

After a question-free Happy Meal, we started to make our way home. Along the way, David asked me a question that thankfully had nothing to do with exploding a human's colon from the inside. 

'Hey, Papa - do you see the sad ghost, too?'

I thought about pulling over to check the boy for a fever but since I don't routinely carry a thermometer on me, I just kept driving. It was only when I turned to put the back of my hand on his forehead that I noticed the freaky reflection of the McDonald's cup holder in the windshield.

Like Angie, David mumbles strange things on a daily basis, but this time I actually got it. For a change.
Ladder Talk:
1) What was the best part of your day?
Peter: That I did sleep over at Mateo's.
David: That with Opa that we traded the wheels of the Smart - that was super cool!
Tom: I was by Lauri's for his birthday. 

2) What was the worst part of your day?
Peter: That I did have to so quickly go home again. 
David: 'Cause I fart and then I need to go in my room. 
Tom: That we are playing a game and Peter was saying the rules and one was not so nice.

3) What would you like to do tomorrow?
Peter: I want to play with my friends.
David: I want to sleep by a friend. 
Tom: Sleep.

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