Sunday, May 11, 2014

Can't Buy Me Love


Mother's Day started with Tommy sneaking into our bed and swiping Mama's 'Hangover Shades'. This was followed by a move that I like to call 'I-probably-shouldn't-publish-pictures-of-my-wife-drooling-on-our-third-born'. I'm pretty sure that all the cool stuff she'll be getting today will be more than enough to buy her love, but I'll let you know tomorrow. Hey sofa, how you doing?

The boys all remembered how long we made them wait at Christmas before we let them loose, so they planned their revenge by not allowing Mama in the room until they were ready.

'Guys, I hate to break it to you, but I'm pretty sure Mama is going to be less than devastated if you force her to stay in bed until you guys are ready.'

'Papa, what does "debastated" mean?'

'Never mind. You guys just keep Mama waiting; I bet she is absolutely fuming in there.'


 After almost an hour, they wisely decided to rethink their strategy and went with the father-approved 'jump on her head' strategy. Yep, that worked.


Shortly after the gift frenzy began, Tommy lifted his blinders and started spastically screaming that his gifts would be the first to be opened. Okay, calm down, there, psycho.


I was pretty sure that Angie would like whatever Tommy had crafted at kindergarten, but to be on the safe side, I also bought a pocket mirror that Tommy could give her. Trust me, she loves looking at herself.


Next on the list was Peter, who had, for some reason, bought Angie a medicine cabinet. A what??!!


I was just about to verbalize my curiosity when I noticed David, who was quietly standing on the sidelines with a gift-giving grin. David is never, ever quiet, so this suddenly became more puzzling than trying to figure out why in the world Peter would give his mother a medicine cabinet as a token of his love.

Before I could whip out my detective cap, David had turned to his brothers.

'Are you guys done?'

David didn't wait for an answer. Instead, he shoved his masterpiece into Angie's hands and beamed.


To be sure that his artwork was not confused with Tommy's scribble, he drew an arrow next to his with the explanation 'David drew this'. In the bottom right, he included an arrow pointing to the flip side with 'And Tommy drew this'


Peter calmly acknowledged David's honorable attempt with a condescending nod before whipping out his family pack of handmade doilies. Booyah!


David gave Peter's smug look a cursory glance before gleefully whipping out yet another love sketch.


Peter's normally not overly competitive, but apparently out-gifting him on Mother's Day is a no-go. He upped the ante with a story entitled 'Mother's Day Riddle'.


The riddle to be solved was that every child in the class had described what they liked about their Mom. Angie then had to read all of these fables and guess which one was Peter's.

'Oh, is it this one: "What I like about you is that you console me when I don't feel good. You understand me and help me when there is something I can't do. You cheer me on. I like when we sit down together and read or play something. Thanks!"

'No.'

'Ah, how about this one: "You're nice and I think it's cool that you spend a lot of time with me. I also think it's cool that you often help me. I like being alone with you. I like that when we're alone, you sometimes buy something for me. I like that you don't yell at me a lot. I also think it's great that sometimes in the evening you cuddle with me and explain important things to me."

'Nope, guess again.'

'Ah, I know: "I like playing Frisbee with my Mom. You're nice, helpful and funny and you take care of me with a sense of humor. We like doing arts and crafts together. I really like that you are always there for me, even when I do something wrong or get a bad grade. You're the best Mom I can imagine."

'Bingo!'
 
Peter beamed from ear to ear, until David gloated over.

'Nice story, Peter. I also made a story for Mama - but mine rhymes.'


After reading his love poem, David turned to Peter.

'Your turn. Ah, do you not have anything more? That's okay, I thought that Mama could use a voucher, so I made her two. If you want, one of them can be from you.'


The first voucher was for 'when you have worked too much, I will help you'. I didn't tell David, but I definitely thought that Angie might need another 364 vouchers.

The second voucher was for a stroll. Angie loves to go for walks, so David's offer was dangerously close to being the best gift so far. Empty-handed Peter looked like he was ready to beat David with a medicine box if he whipped out one more gift, so I jumped to the rescue with my 'jewelry cross'.


I am pretty sure that Angie was just about to plant me a big fat juicy one when competitive Dave broke the mood with yet another lovely love sketch.


'That's lovely, Davey. But check out the new lamp I got Mama.'


David didn't respond. Instead, he grinned contently and handed Angie the fait accompli.


I give you a kiss. I hug you. I will always love you. 

Peter and I exchanged the same look as Angie read David's card. Okay, David. You won this year, but next year, we are so going to give Mama more love than you. 
--------------------------------------------
Ladder Talk: 
1) What was the best part of your day?
Peter: That Mama had a good day.
David: That Mama liked all of my gifts. 
Tom: That today was Mama-day. 

2) What was the worst part of your day?
Peter: That David is just wanting to play games the whole day. 
David: That Peter was being mean to me why I don't know.
Tom: That we did go'ed in the bath.

3) What would you like to do tomorrow?
Peter: I want to go play darts.
David: I want to go to Yuki.
Tom: I want to go to Happy Kids.

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