Yes, Destructo Dave proved his namesake yet again. After finishing his cute little bashing frenzy on the first box, unsupervised Davey went completely ballistic on the second one. For the memory-challenged readers, the second box was the one with the undented IKEA furniture anxiously waiting to be built before some kid with a meat hammer discovered it. Honey, why is David giggling and who gave him a weapon?
But I get ahead of myself. Before the Tale of Two Boxes came the story of the kindergarten Prince and his pyjama sunrise with la Principessa.
Breakfast made Mama's brain sleepy enough to think that she could lay down for a five minute snooze.
After a good Mama-lashing, nothing hits the spot more than five minutes in the cooler.
Tom's freaky eating habits were not restricted to the privacy of our own home. At IKEA, Tommy Tarzan publicly wowed the shopping world with his new banana trick.
When Tom does stupid things like this, three things normally follow. First, David cracks up. I mean he really loses it; eye-tearing, gut-clutching, snot-blowing, down-on-the-floor full-on hysterical outburst. Second, Papa cracks up, pretty much in the same fashion and order, only I tend to add a certain degree of flatulence to the scene. Third, Angie turns into a mean version of Puff and starts hyperventilating fire on me. My only defensive response was that I was laughing at the fact that David was laughing and not necessarily at Tom. Ow, fire burns.
Peter was feeling a burn of different sorts after mistakenly getting within arm's reach of David's scratching hand.
After searing Peter's gash with a blow torch, we decided to treat the wounded to ice-cream. Tom loved the ice-cream, but did not comprehend nor did he accept the simple fact that when you devour the entire cone in three seconds flat, there is no more ice-cream.
It was at this point that wise Papa called an end to Mama's shop-a-thon and rounded up the Zoo Crew for a short ride home and a long bath to bed. At least, that was my idea.
My Bath, Bed and Beyond plan had several minor faults in it. The first being that David's leg was in a freakin' cast. I didn't care, though. The boy stunk. Bad. Plus, I had Saran Wrap and duct tape and was fully willing to ignore the doctor's advice to not give him a bath. What the hell does he know anyway - he's just a doctor.
Even David was cracking up as I wrapped him up.
'Papa, this no work, okay? I go not in the bath.'
'Trust me; I know what I'm doing. I broke my arm once and I bathed.'
The funny thing is, a broken arm that is in a cast wrapped in Saran Wrap and duct tape doesn't get nearly as wet as other appendages that actually get completely submerged in water. Like feet.
I think we are trying to break (get it?) a new record for how many times a cast can be reset before it heals. The day after David broke his foot, it itched. This resulted in Angie walking into his bedroom to find that he had 'scratched' his cast into crumbles. Cast number two came off several days later when the doctor had to confirm that his foot was still broken. It was. Brilliant. Thanks, Doc. Cast number four was actually the end result of my attempt at de-stinkafying Dirty Dave.
'Is that duct tape?'
'Yes.'
'What is that wrapped around? Did you use a ... is that a kitchen towel?'
'Yes.'
'You didn't try giving him a bath, did you?'
'Yes.'
I wish the Hippocratic Oath also included a clause that prevented doctors from making you feel like an ass. Although this would probably prevent Angie from ever entering the medical field, and since we need to keep our options open, I kept my mouth shut.
Meanwhile, back at the Zoo, the animals were getting restless. To try and make them more restful, we invited Daniel over for what turned out to be a childish card game. Just my style.
--------------------------------------------
Ladder Talk:
1) What was the best part of your day?
Peter: When I played Queen cards with Daniel.
David: When we played that with the cards with Daniel.
2) What was the worst part of your day?
Peter: When Davey scratch me.
David: When I cried 'cause I heared not when you tell me stop and I in trouble.
3) What would you like to do tomorrow?
Peter: To play with you and Mama and Tom and Davey surprise maker.
David: To play Mama and Baby, where Peter is the baby 'cause he is.
No comments:
Post a Comment