The Birthday Train

In addition to trains, Patrick is also fascinated by tractors, combines, dump trucks, cement mixers, cars...pretty much anything that is mobile. Perhaps this stems from a burning desire to get the hell out of Indiana, by any means necessary? Perhaps not.

Since Patrick will be flying back to the States soon, we had to limit the gifts. Aside from the obvious train or ten, one of the presents was a combine harvester. The kid flipped out. But in a good not-psycho kinda way. He loved it and wanted me to sing him a song about it. I found this extremely odd, but I am used to strange relatives, so I came up with the following verse on the spot:

(sung to the melody of 'Oh my darling, Clementine!')

Oh my combine, oh my combine,
Oh my combine harvester
I have grown you and I've picked you,
Now I'll eat you, you piece of corn!

There is a good reason why I am writing blogs and not pop-chart singles. At least the birthday boy appreciated it. And appreciated it and appreshiated it and appreshited it. Yes, the middle of that word aptly described my new song after hearing that stupid verse for the 200th time on the way to the indoor playground. Damn me.

At least trampolines, inflatable slides and pools full of plastic balls distracted the birthday boy slightly. He had one minor setback when he began to sing, but I promptly took care of that with a well placed hit to his vocal box with a sponge Frisbee.

After hours of building Lego houses and tearing them down, we took the kids home and tried to calm them down.

Yeah, ok, that obviously didn't work.

It may have been the chocolate cake. Or maybe the banana splits. Or HEY, I don't know - perhaps it was the Kool-aid, cookies, ice cream, chocolate sprinkles, whip cream and M&M's? Perhaps not.

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Ladder Talk:
1) What was the best part of your day?
Peter: When it's Patrick's birthday.
David: When Sami and Katherina come.

2) What was the worst part of your day?
Peter: When my forehead hurts.
David: When my head hurts, too, ok?

3) What would you like to do tomorrow?
Peter: To do my banana split.
David: Kika and Sami come.

It's the journey, not the destination

Kids don't give a damn, let alone five damns, about where they are going. It's how freakin' loud and annoying you can be on the way that counts. This sofa of the next generation was the preferred method of trainsport to this morning's pajama party. No, transport was not misspelled; I put that in there just for Patrick. He's the cute little train freak wearing red pajamas with, holy surprise, TRAINS all over them. Imagine that.

To get everyone primed for today's BIG TRIP, I shovelled bowl after bowl of Cap'n Crunch's Crunch Berries down their greedy little mouths until a glossy eyed Patrick began shaking uncontrollably and David tried to eat the cat. Luckily, Gizma is a veteran pro and just hissed the silly little human away.

It took the Breakfast Club 25 minutes to put on shoes, snowpants, scarves, hats, earmuffs, coats, and chapstick to finally be ready to brave the cold. The moment we opened the front door was, of course, when Peter decided that he needed to pee. What??!! What the hell happened to 'I don't need to go' which was your answer BOTH times I asked you before we started wrapping you up like a mummy?

I thought about telling Peter to just go, but he has taken to ratting on David lately and the chances were high that he might run into the living room and ask Mama first. Yes, the living room. The nice, warm living room, with the fresh pot of hot coffee. Oh, did I forget to mention that Mama would not be joining us on our BIG TRIP?

We eventually made it outside and the kids were bubbling over with excitement. Even though they had no idea where we were going, nor had they asked, I could tell the suspense was killing them so I finally told them. We are going to the BANK, followed by a side trip to the POST OFFICE. Yeah! Doesn't that sound fun? Whoooooo! Who's your uncle?

The boys did not catch any of it, though. They were already halfway down the street playing tag and a game of 'I'm going to knock you down and laugh in your face' that David was trying to teach Patrick. Judging by the tears, Patrick did not quite understand the game yet.

To cheer Patrick up, I took everyone on a streetcar, only I called it a 'train'. That worked.


We only went one stop on the 'train', mainly because the other passengers looked ready to mob us if we did not get off immediately. We jumped rails and found a nice cafe that served screaming kids. We ordered a hot chocolate for the boys, prompting the waiter to give me the 'I think they've had enough' look. I told him it was ok, I was driving. Now shut up and line 'em up, barkeep. And give me a double.

After de-thawing long enough to feel my toes tingling again, we packed up and made our way back. Yes, we took the 'train' back home. Yes, David tried teaching Patrick another new game on the way home. Yes, Patrick had problems understanding David's strange rules. Yes, the boys enjoyed our BIG TRIP. And yes, it most certainly the journey and not the destination.
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Ladder Talk:
1) What was the best part of your day?
Peter: When I found a new sleeping hat and when we played green light, red light in the snow with Aunt Christine.
David: When we play with Patrick play-doh.

2) What was the worst part of your day?
Peter: When David was fighting with me over the chair.
David: When I cry 'cause I a baby.

3) What would you like to do tomorrow?
Peter: To play the wild game.
David: When Patrick come again.

I like trains, too

Today was all about discovering new things. For example, I found out today that I, like Patrick, like trains. For anyone who is unsure how much my nephew really likes trains, first read The long train of thought. If it's still not clear, let me know and I will whack you in the face with a phone book until you get it. Only Patrick's tiny neurons could tell you why he is so addicted to locomotives. For me, it was simple. Patrick likes trains. Trains make Patrick quiet. I like quiet.

This morning, I took Patrick to the train station. This trip for him was probably comparable to my trip to the Guinness brewery when I was in Dublin. Only Patrick did not stagger when he walked out of the station. We did not really do much when we got to there. We watched some trains pull in and out of the station, which damn near made Patrick hyperventilate with excitement.

Chris and I calmed him down by going to the station cafe for a hot chocolate. You might think it is odd to calm a kid down by dumping liquid chocolate down his throat. To that, I would say two things. First, you're odd. Second, you did not see him by the tracks - a sugar high was much calmer than the explosive excitement I was forced to watch.

I also discovered today how much I like kindergarten. Actually, I don't even like kindergartens, but I certainly do appreciate them. The boys went back today after three weeks off. Don't get me wrong, I really liked having them at home. For a day or two. After week two, I found myself surfing web pages for boomerang hammers and do-it-yourself lobotomy kits.

In the afternoon, Angie kicked us out of the house for three hours. She had a visitor stopping by for coffee and felt that a full-on cleaning frenzy was needed. When we came back, I made yet another discovery - we have floors. Holy shit! I always thought we had carpets underneath all of the crap we have piled up throughout the house.

Some people like discovering new things. I enjoyed learning how to appreciate the silence even more. I no longer take kindergartens for granted and who wouldn't like finding cool stuff, like floors? Some people do not like new things, though, and would rather take comfort in the familiar. Patrick classified himself into this latter group when, on the way home, he continued with his mantra of I like trains.
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Ladder Talk:
1) What was the best part of your day?
Peter: When I played with Patrick this game.
David: When I played with Patrick and we all pulled.

2) What was the worst part of your day?
Peter: When I was sad by the kindergarten 'cause I wanted to stay by you. I wish my kindergarten was by your work.
David: When I cried 'cause my nose bleed out here.

3) What would you like to do tomorrow?
Peter: To play with Patrick the Thomas Mountain game.
David: When Patrick come again.