Friday, January 2, 2009

Return of the Patrick

After being released into the wild, some animals will start to miss captivity. Patrick is one of those strange creatures, but his return to the zoo was welcomed quite loudly by the other primates. To celebrate his great re-domestication, we took everyone to an indoor playground so the animals would feel more at home. Patrick displayed his alpha male traits and repeatedly annoyed David by sliding faster. Damn him and his slippery pants.

Just getting to the playground brought me as close to being a shuttle-bus driver as I would ever like to be. I made the first run and dropped off George, Patrick, Peter and David. I then left George on his own with the boys, fully aware of the risk that might pose to his hair. I did remind him that we were in Germany, and that they did sell beer, even at a kid's playground, even at 10 o'clock in AM. I love Germany.

I left to pick up the ladies who were at the lady clinic doing lady stuff that made me envy George and his liquid breakfast. Stephanie and Tom both made successful 'transfers' from the stroller to the car without waking up screaming their heads off. It is amazing how the little things can make you extremely happy when your life has suddenly exploded with kids. Never take sleep for granted. Ever.

After we got all of the livestock herded to the pasture, it was time to put down the cattle prod and enjoy a moment of silence, provided you can ignore the 500 screaming kids around you.

You can tell by the sheer concentration on my sister's face that guzzling her very hot coffee is the primary task at hand. Putting on the lip cream to soothe the burns comes only after downing the second steaming cup. It's more important what's on the inside.

You probably don't know this unless you have bugged my house, but Angie is the censor for my blog. I write stuff that I find incredibly funny late at night that Angie absolutely hates in the morning, even after coffee. Calling our children spawns and references to milk bags are just a few examples that have been vetoed by President O'Mama. I now leave everything in draft mode and Angie is the knowing accomplice that hits the publish button.

In this picture, what you don't see is that Tom is hiding under the blanket. He is not shy, so I will leave it up to your imagination to guess what he is doing. I will also leave it up to La Presidenta to decide whether this blog passes or not. No pressure.

You can also see in the picture above that Peter and Patrick are both drinking, but David is not. He has a far-off stare that typically indicates he is plotting something. That is why the next picture disturbs me a little more than slightly.

It does not surprise me that David found the sponge-gun; this was only a matter of time and searching on his part. His sheer look of delight does not even phase me. What does concern me is how purple his happy little trigger finger is turning from squeezing so hard.

We decided to leave before David figured out what to do with the bags of fertilizer and jugs of ammonia that were littering the back room.

In the evening, we had Sebastian over to celebrate his birthday.

He had originally invited us to his place to serve fondue. I called to tell him that my sister was here with her husband and two kids and suggested that it might be easier if he came to our place instead of all of us shuttling over there. I heard a click on the line and 30 seconds later, the birthday boy was at the door with a douffel bag full of cheese, bread, a fondue pot, some wine, and his kitchen sink. I guess he liked my idea of not going over to his place.

I love cheese. I love bread. Make it a meal, though, and my bowels will love you for a week. Damn him and his cheesey meal.
Ladder Talk:
1) What was the best part of your day?
Peter: When Patrick was playing that my airplane was a garage.
David: When Patrick came.
Patrick: The part of my day that was best was going to the restaurant and the museum. It was a big museum - there's nice things to see there. You wanna go there? And I have a big McQueen video - I hope you like it. I also have a Peterson book.

2) What was the worst part of your day?
Peter: When David was jumped on me when I was under the blankets and when my nose was bleeding 'cause I wanted to jump and I landed on my nose.
David: When Peter make me mad and when Stephanie cry.
Patrick: The worst part was when I don't like being under the covers when David was crushing us and smoothing us.

3) What would you like to do tomorrow?
Peter: To play with Patrick the volcanoe thing.
David: When we go in the zoo and Stephanie no cry, okay?
Patrick: I would like to go on the train - I really like trains.


  1. Wow. This week has been a busy week. You're in Germany?!? I didn't even realize. I need to pay better attention. Looks like you're having fun, though.

    One of my favorite parts of your blog entries: Ladder Talk. Just FYI.

  2. Yes, the animals permanently reside in Deutschland, but they will always be a mixed breed.

    My favorite part is also Ladder Talk - I don't have to write at all - I just dictate. Being a dictator is not as bad as the media makes it out to be, though.

  3. Sounds like things have been crazy over there in Germany now that the Johnson crew has been let loose.

    Agree on the cheese.

    But should I mention I'm lactose intolerant? Yeah, probably not.

  4. Hey Steve -- What makes you think it was just coffee I was drinking? I love Germany, too - remember? :)