Monday, January 12, 2009

You'll get a kick out of this

Angie lost her freakin' mind today and thought it would be wise to take Peter and David to a Judo class. Judo. As in the Japanese martial art that uses combat techniques like elbow thrusts, choking and throwing your opponent to the floor. The only good thing, I suppose, is that when you lose your mind and finally get it back, you appreciate thinking a lot more. Thanks, sweetie! I'm sure the kindergarten teachers will be quite impressed by how much more pain the boys can now inflict on others.

'Judo' actually means 'gentle way' in Japanese, but I think something got lost in the translation. There was nothing gentle about how the boys spent the rest of the day and night trying to kill each other. Luckily, neither one of them succeeded.

While the boys were busy karate-poking their eyes out, I was enjoying my first day back after four weeks of vacation. Yes, I used the word enjoy. The office was quiet. None of my employees tried jumping on me. Nobody came up to me to announce that they were poopy. And not once during the day did I need to break up any fights. Normally I would classify work as a four-letter word, but today, well...enjoyable.

After work, I got a welcome judo kick from Peter. As the pain dulled, I heard David giggling in the bathroom. Like a train wreck, I had to see. I walked in to find David with that 'caught-in-the-bathroom-squirting-shampoo-on-the-walls' look. I thought about patenting the 'child-proof' shampoo bottle and making millions, but then I came to the sad realization that there are probably not too many parents out there gifted with talented and creative children that paint on walls with conditioner. Instead, I added shampoo to our shopping list and grabbed a sponge.

As I sat down to read the boys their goodnight stories, I felt something under the covers and thought that it might have been Angie's mind. It was only a mule, though. Despite both being rather stubborn, the search for Angie's mind will need to continue.
Ladder Talk:
1) What was the best part of your day?
Peter: When I played with Judo's when I learned that a kid come and I was kicking them and then they kick back and hit them on the head and then they did it, too.
David: When Peter and Patrick jump like pe-yang, byong, pe-yang on the bottom.
Patrick: When I was eating food and eating desserts.

2) What was the worst part of your day?
Peter: When David said 'don't go on your chair' out in the living room and Mama pulled him off of the chair 'cause he said Patrick and me can't sit there no more.
David: When I cry like this 'cause I cry 'cause you so mean. You put me in bed 'cause you so mean
Patrick: My worst part was when I was crying. It was when I got the McQueen car and Mama took it and I cry 'cause I was fighting with David. David took it, so Mama took it.

3) What would you like to do tomorrow?
Peter: To play with Patrick hippo-flip.
David: When Patrick again play with me.
Patrick: I want to see Papa again and I want to come back here again.


  1. Well, at least their minds are distracted from trains, even if it is to now become deadly assassins. You could play a game called, "Who Can Be the Quietest Ninja?" You'd have some peace and quiet for a while... that is until one of them jumps out of the kitchen cupboard to snap your neck. At the very least, you could use that to keep away the Jehovah's Witnesses.

  2. Thanks for the new post! You just needed a little prodding. Now, is there a correlation to the fact that we get a new post and you're back in the office? Hmmm?

  3. Count yourselves lucky. With Judo, at least you have a chance (albeit a slim one) of them being gentle. Our two are into Karate. Enough said! And as for the shampoo - it has to happen at least once, or your kids have not had a 'proper childhood' (TM). With ours, it was baby powder. Not on the walls, though - on each other:

  4. Kato: Thanks! Remind me to never let you babysit.

    Doyle: Yes, the office folk calm me down to that relaxing level I need to get my blog on.

    Jon: Thanks for the tip, but I already moved the powder to the Top Shelf after the last time when David's face discovered the diaper cream:

  5. At least with Judo you won't have to worry about childhood obesity. It's much more active than train-spotting.

  6. Good luck on Angie finding her mind. What was she thinking? Judo with these two? Hey, at least, it provided blog fodder and another great ladder talk.

    On a serious note, what's going on with your dates? It reads January 12...did I miss a month or am I getting month old news? I backdate myself on one blog, but not this far. :)

  7. PHFL: Thanks - at least with Patrick, I get the sense that spotting the train won't be enough. He will be that strange kid that tries chasing the train as well.

    UR: Good news, Angie found her mind. I even got a piece of it after she read this blog.

    Regarding the dates, I am normally one day behind. I was hoping no one would pick up on my being 'slightly' behind, but I wanted to finish up Patrick's visit. Damn your keen sense of observation :-) Don't worry, though - I have since jumped back to the present, which is actually yesterday, which you will probably read tomorrow.