Sunday, May 10, 2009

The Motherload

Angie should get the 'Mother of the Year' award. She figured out how to do laundry, clean Tom and entertain Papa all at once. What else could you ask for? Before I answer that and get myself into mother trouble, let's move on.

Mother's day started out nice. Peter came in and announced that he loved Mama 'to the volcanoes and back'. I don't know about you, but I freakin' love being compared to places that burn in flames. Judging by Angie's smile, she was also loving the hell out of the compliments.

We went to Grams and Opa's for lunch. Silly Grams and Opa forgot that we are the Johnson's, though, and actually prepared lunch. Had they considered for one minute our track record on making it anywhere on time, they would have certainly prepared dinner and invited us for breakfast. Yes, we were late. Just a tad. We blame Tom now, but mainly because Peter and David are old enough to say things like 'Mama was in the shower for, like...two days!!'. Trust me, she needed it.

After lunch, Grams tried to teach David how to cheat at a game of fish puzzle-building.

I think in the end, David taught Grams more tricks than either one of us wanted to know that he knew. Puzzling.

After the bonding fish-building exercise, I could tell the minnows needed a little exercise themselves. I took Peter and David to the playground, where they actually managed to play quite nicely with one another.

Ok, seconds after this cute photo op, David threw dirt in Peter's eyes, prompting a retaliatory groin kick before Papa could break them up. Still....cute photo, huh?

After breaking up Cain and Able, we went to Sandy and Mark's, where we reverted back to the theme of things that catch on fire.

If you look closely, you will see that Chef Mark has burnt the ever-loving shit out of the poor hamburger box because he had it sitting directly against the grill for a few hours. At least his grilling faux pas was a quick and easy way for him to bond with Angie. Whatever burns your boat, I guess.

Sandy was also easy to bond with.

I have three boys. She has three boys, if you include Mark and ignore the one that is off camera breaking things. I like beer. She had beer. We both are married to spouses that burn shit.

Where Sandy and I hopefully differ is that our son has obviously chosen a future in the garbage disposal business.

I shook my head and hoped that Destructo Dave would not end up picking up other people's trash. Mama mumbled something about being proud of whatever he does. 'Whatever' was the only thing I could take away from her babbling that made any sense, though. Rather than ask for clarification of these motherly ramblings, I wisely chose to avoid the mother trouble and move on.
Ladder Talk:
1) What was the best part of your day?
Peter: When David bonked himself on the body.
David: When we go to Grams and Opa and then to the Hatch.

2) What was the worst part of your day?
Peter: When we couldn't do the skateboards.
David: When Peter's not come here.

3) What would you like to do tomorrow?
Peter: When we go to the wedding from Handan.
David: When I catch a dinosaur.

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