Saturday, May 23, 2009

Wrinkles, wigs and weird women

Today was my birthday party, A.K.A. Wrinkle Party. Angie would be the weird woman in a wig that I mistakenly and perhaps too eagerly thought was a 70's disco stripper hired to boogie down with the birthday boy. I tried to explain to Angie that being confused for a stripper should be a compliment, but Afro-Mama wasn't buying it. for me, Chia pet, dance!

The morning started out at the butt-crack of dawn with David screaming at the top of his lungs that he MAKE A POOPY NOW, OK?

Actually, it was more than ok. I am so freakin' loving David's newfound friendship with John that I scraped my lazy ass out of bed at six o'clock in the A.M. to put the seat down for Mr. Nodiapers. I have to say, I found it quite hilarious that David says 'bye bye, kaka' and waves as he flushes. I didn't laugh, though. Don't jinx it, man!

After many high fives and some moderate hand-washing, Papa cooked breakfast for the Zoo. Peter has recently shown an interest in the kitchen, so we grabbed his step ladder and I let him break open a few eggs. Luckily for me, Angie and I have an arrangement where I cook, she cleans. At one point, she tried to argue that she should not be responsible for cleaning up pieces of egg shell from the walls since technically it was Peter who made the mess. Nice try, Betty Crocker, but next time you should try your weak-ass negotiations AFTER I have served you your meal.

As Angie cleaned the kitchen walls, floor and ceiling, I grabbed Peter the Helper and Tommy Two Teeth and began setting up for the BBQ.

Tommy is either absolutely fascinated with Peter here or he cannot breath. Either way, at least he was quiet while I put together the picnic tables and benches. The party really started when the Ice-man showed up with the necessary tools for making warm beer cold.

After an hour, Eisi and I began testing out if the ice was actually working. It was, but I believe in being quite thorough when it comes to testing. After our third exam, Eisi broke out his theater wigs that apparently make weird looking kids look even weirder.

Dalia stuck her tongue out, which was cute and funny. Our boys then tried the same and I would say that freaky and disturbing might better describe them.

Bizarreness must be contagious. Pretty soon, all the kids wanted to throw on dead hair and show off their goofy side.
The adults were revolted by how silly and immature the kids were being and immediately began downing barrels of wine to show how mature they were.

I guess it only takes a few glasses of grape juice for the ladies to show how silly and immature they actually can be.

I have to say, with Angie it was no surprise - I know the sound of her wine. The other wigged weirdos took me by surprise, though.

Another surprise came when a Ferrari drove down our street. After sadly confirming that this was not a belated birthday gift, Angie and I chased the car down and got our pose on.

Because there were actually people still sitting in the car, Angie felt compelled to ask the driver if we could take a few photos [above, left]. He answered with 'go ahead, sure - you can even touch it if you want' [above, right]. I can only hope Mr. Conceited was talking about the car. I really think those things should be convertibles; how else are these guys with the big heads actually supposed to fit in them? Speaking of really desperate men, I reminded my private dancer that I never got my birthday jingle [above, middle].
Ladder Talk:
1) What was the best part of your day?
Peter: When David said 'gaga' and then he laughs.
David: When Peter bonked his head and that so funny I laugh.

2) What was the worst part of your day?
Peter: When I tripped by the party.
David: When Peter cry 'cause he afraid of me.

3) What would you like to do tomorrow?
Peter: To play swords.
David: To play with Peter pirates and I are a captain, ok?


  1. -David I am proud of you being a big boy now not needing diapers.
    -Peter, it is nice you are helping Papa in the kitchen. Patrick helps Uncle George and Aunt Christine cook.
    -Tommy, I can't believe you are sitting up already, you are a doll.
    -Steve and Angie in wigs, what can I say? Priceless.
    Love Oma

  2. When - and WHY - did you guys get a collection of wigs?????????

  3. I would love to say that we have the wigs just to spice things up a bit, but Angie would probably censor that (see how I get around Big Sister?).

    Anyway, Eisi showed up with the wigs. He is in theater (theatre for you Brits out there), so I guess he is allowed to show up with a big bag of hair without looking any weirder than he already does.