Sunday, September 27, 2009

Double bull, triple shots

In darts, a double bull is justification for a round of shots. For Peter and David, I would have done three rounds of shots if they could just hit the board. In the end, I was pleasantly surprised that they didn't nail any stray cats or innocent children. Even without that excitement, it was still fun.

I know it was a holiday, but I really don't know what it was for. I don't pay attention to shit like that. I just know there was stand after stand full of beer, sausages and fake shark teeth.

Although most certainly a carnivore, Peter the meat eater skipped the sausage stands, waved to me as he walked past the beer stand and headed straight for the fake jewelry. We bought him a shark tooth necklace that was painted gray and he was completely in his element.

David didn't care much about what anyone else was doing. It was his first parade and he was loving the organized banging.

We watched until the drumming marchers were out of ear shot and I could swear I saw tears in the boy's eyes. Sorry, Davey - Santa has banned drums this year. It turns out, they are made from the skin of baby seals, so maybe you should just wish for a nice puzzle or a ball of yarn.

I really don't know why David is worried about Christmas, though. He should be more concerned about the resell value of coal. It's not enough that his misbehavior irritates the crap out of Angie and me twice daily. He has now moved to the next level, which brings the neighbors into our happy little circle of annoyance.

For a while, the neighbors wondered how their cherry tomato plants could be growing so well, yet yield nothing. I discovered David in the garden with a mouthful of guilt and felt like Scooby-Doo, just without the Mystery Machine. I didn't need it, though. The mystery was solved for me; of course I kept shrugging shoulders at our baffled neighbors.

When I confronted David with his thievery, he informed me that it was the 'weedman' who stole them. He then went on to explain that he was 'saving' the harvest by storing them in his belly so that the 'weedman' couldn't find them.

I thought the boy had completely lost his mind until I saw this dude on the street.

David threw a coin in his bucket and I screamed 'Stop eating our garden, weed-freak!'. People passing by just stared, but being a blog-celebrity, I am used to this.

When we got home, Tommy Corleone whispered something into David's ear.

'The tomatoes - I know it was you, David. You broke my heart. You broke my heart!'

I don't know where the Godfather was during all of this, but the Godmother was teaching Tommy how to read.

Okay, it was a picture book, so all-in-all...not that impressive. I mean, come on, Barb. I like the comic section, but every now and then, I read the front page.

What was impressive is that Tom can now walk. He started a few days ago and went from zero to one in no time at all.

I will admit that he looks like a drunken pirate when he stumbles about. I will also admit that he looks like a tranquilized monkey seconds before it drops. I will also admit that I have to stop there for a lack of other fitting comparisons.

Our other two drunken pirate monkeys were far from tranquil.

They were high on a treasure-hunt adrenaline rush triggered by the Godfather himself. For some reason, Sami actually wanted our boys to come over to his house and destroy things while looking for his loot. Ask and you shall receive.

It started out with Sami and a simple map.

Sami is excellent with maps, especially after his recent road trip to Austria (inside joke), but driving maps are slightly different than treasure maps.

As Peter and David tried to decipher Sami's crayon scribbles, Tom was busy yanking Lauri around.

Lauri didn't like this one bit and he ordered me to put Tommy in the trash can. After years with Angie, I have given up on disobeying, no matter how silly the request is.

This was hilarious until I overlooked Newton's law of gravity and Tom toppled over. Tom screamed like a kid who had been thrown in a trash can that was then kicked over. Luckily, Tom gets his thick skull from Mama.

The boys eventually found the Finnish jackpot and celebrated by eating chocolate eggs and sugary loot. I was still feeling really bad about dropping Tommy on his head again, so I went to the pub and played darts.

I didn't get a double bull, but I at least hit the board. I also managed to miss all of the stray cats and innocent children hanging out in the pub, so I felt we deserved the triple shot.
Ladder Talk:
1) What was the best part of your day?
Peter: When I played with Sebastian and Chiara today.
David: When I played with Peter animals.

2) What was the worst part of your day?
Peter: When David hit me on my hand on the side with his fists.
David: When I cried 'cause I wanted that red, but I cannot - really!

3) What would you like to do tomorrow?
Peter: To go and get a dinosaur.
David: Play with my pirate ship there up on the blue box.

1 comment:

  1. Nice one. And I can actually understand "I cried 'cause I wanted that red, but I can't" and similar speech. (Cuz I hear it during the weak and speak it occasionally on the weekends.)-Hatch