Saturday, January 9, 2010

Attack of the Snow Cone

I think it's great that Sharpur wanted to build a snowman with the boys, I just wonder who the hell taught him that they should be shaped like a pyramid. It didn't help that he cracked open the only round part of his creation while trying to shove in the biggest carrot nose I have ever seen in my life. Sharpur looked a little disappointed as Frosty's cranium crumbled to the ground, but I think my laughing helped. Nice snow cone, buddy!

After Geometric Snowshapes 101, we moved on to pelting the kids with frozen water.

It's a little hard here to tell if the snowball was being thrown at or by Artin. I wouldn't want my two readers to lose any sleep wondering, so let me just put that one to bed. It was thrown, full-force, at Artin's head, who somehow managed to karate chop it to powder. I won't say who was pelting ninja boy in the head, but I will state that snowman building can apparently be a tad bit frustrating for some people.

To calm things down, Sharpur took the boys on a magic carpet ride.

After approximately one minute and twenty-three seconds, the rug rats lost interest in Steppenwolf and demanded to be fed. What Sharpur lacked in snowbuilding he made up for in snacking.

Milk and cookies - what a great idea! That is, of course, if you ignore the inevitable aftermath of inhaling round sugar patties. I didn't care, though. Captain Peter was sleeping over, so I just mentally chuckled as they devoured their hyperinducing morsels.

At one point, I smelled energy in the air and sensed that things might get ugly soon. I grabbed David and Tom and wished Sharpur and Shayeste a fun-filled night with the caffeinated.

At home, Tom launched his own search for candy. After running around the house in circles for an hour, he sat down in David's chair for a five minute breather. Mistake. Rested, he continued his quest, but somehow 'the stash' continued to elude him.

Eventually, we did point out to Lollibutt that he should probably never ever sit in David's spot again; next time, he might not be that lucky. At some point, David strolled in the room.

'Hey! That's mine!'

Yup, you guessed it. Yuck.

Barb and Armin came over and ordered pizza and chicken wings instead of accepting our very generous offer of Ramen noodles and stale bread. Barb chuckled at our hospitality and began plotting something with the animals.

I have no idea what it was, only that it must have been evil judging David's grin. Just remember, buddy - payback is hell.

You know what else is hell? Getting a call from your firstborn who is spending the night at a friend's house and supposed to already be asleep because it is two and half hours after his normal bedtime but is instead wide awake and whining on about his missing snuggle bunny. I could only make out bits of his conversation through his incoherent sobbing and snotting.

'Papa, I need to come home. I don't have my bunny!'

'What?! Are you kidding me? Do you know what time it is? If you ever want to leave the house again, you better...'

Mama was motioning for the phone, so I handed it over. Yeah, you go, Mama - slam him! Show him who's boss! And tell him that hell will freeze over before we...

'Oh, sweetie, I'm so sorry. Papa will bring over your bunny right away.'


At that point, I started hyperventilating and really don't really remember the next five minutes. When the haze lifted, I was glad to see that I hadn't beaten Angie with the phone. But only kinda glad, you know.

In all fairness, I can understand why Peter was upset; he has slept with this damn bunny every night of his life. In all stupidity, though, I cannot begin to understand how Mama managed to forget to pack Peter's essential rabbit. Even stupider - she suddenly volunteers me as the delivery boy? Payback is hell, woman.

You know what is worse than hell? Losing poker to your wife and her non-Ramen-noodle-and-stale-bread-eating sister all night.

Luckily, that didn't happen. After a long night of delivering stuffed animals to spoiled kids, I was in no mood to show mercy. Anger was on my side and even one of Sharpur's Frosty snow cones couldn't freeze my payback over.
Ladder Talk:
[Peter was too busy crying his eyes out to do Ladder Talk]
1) What was the best part of your day?
David: When I make snow balls on your head - bonk, bash - ha, ha - you wet!

2) What was the worst part of your day?
David: When I can't not more with Barbara and Armin play.

3) What would you like to do tomorrow?
David: To play with Peter when he are back.

No comments:

Post a Comment