Sunday, November 30, 2008

Peter's Advent-ure

Advent comes from the Latin word adventus, meaning 'arrival'. For us, the 'arrival' was Barbara bringing Advent's calendars like this one so that the boys could have something to fight over - thanks, Barb! After the boy's festive quarreling this morning, I was thinking more of the Latin phrase bibamus, moriendum est (let us drink, for we must die).

It started out with a distant buzz, comparable perhaps to that of a swarm of killer bees quickly approaching. These bees arrived at the Johnson hive completely furious that the Queen bee had not yet prepared their morning feast.

I was a little surprised that after four years, our little Peter-bee has yet to figure out that Mama does not make breakfast; she eats it. Before I could say anything that would certainly be true, but result in my own personal 'sofa talk', I disappeared into the kitchen.

From there, I could hear screaming, shouting, yelling, howling, spitting, fighting, shrieking, crying, laughing, more crying followed by more one point, I cranked up the radio and enjoyed the curtain of silence. Angie came storming in shortly after to make an obvious observation followed by a statement that essentially sums up why I love the kitchen.

The radio is too loud! You can't hear the kids at all if you blast the music like that!

After brunch, we noticed a tiny black streak on Tom's tongue. Angie freaked. She called her friend Karin, who is also a midwife. 'It could be a fungus, or maybe Mouth Rot - does it smell funny?' Angie then freaked a little more and began sniffing Tom's mouth like a bloodhound chasing a fugitive. Nothing. Next, we took Tom into the bathroom for an emergency OP involving a Q-Tip and a lot of screaming. At least his mouth was wide open.

After Tommy's little tongue scrub, we had some minor hearing loss and a cotton swab full of strange black fuzz. At that point, I asked Angie what she had been wearing that morning.

'What the hell does that have to do with anything?! His mouth could fall out any minute now and you want to know what I had on?'

I ignored Mommy Panick and searched the bedroom. I found a rather fuzzy black sweater on the floor. I asked Angie if that was what she had been wearing. 'Yes'. There is no way to write the tone of words, so I have to instead explain that this 'Yes' carried with it the tone of an angry Judge demanding that the prosecuter quickly get to the point.

To make a potentially tragic story funny, Angie had burped Fuzz Mouth earlier that morning. Apparently Tom was still in the throes of breastfeeding and tried to suck on Angie's shoulder. The black fuzz was just that. Black fuzz.

Right before dinner, Peter came racing up the hallway and almost tackled me.

'Papa! Come, you have GOT to see THIS'

From experience, the phrase 'you have got to see this' will either disgust me or result in me yelling at someone. In this case, I did not yell at anyone.

Peter held my hand and dragged me to the toilet. He lifted the lid, then made a special point of showing that he also lifted the toilet seat. Then, the THIS became apparent. Today, November 30th, 2008, Peter learned how to pee standing up. One small step for boykind, one giant mess for Papa to clean up. I hope he gets the shaking part down soon.

After putting the boys down for the night, Angie and I checked on Tom's hairy tongue and were pleasantly relieved that the black fuzz had not grown back. Soon after, Tom fell asleep for the night, leaving an eerily silent apartment that left an odd ringing in my ears. Favete linguis is another Latin phrase that nicely sums up today. It translates to 'favor me with your tongues'. The meaning, however, is 'be silent'.
Ladder Talk:
1) What was the best part of your day?
Peter: When Barbara came and she brought something sweet.
David: When Barbara come, okay?

2) What was the worst part of your day?
Peter: When Barbara didn't give me some of the sweets that you said 'cause they are for tomorrow.
David: When I have an owa.

3) What would you like to do tomorrow?
Peter: To play with you and Mama and Tom and David to Dalia's and play football.
David: When I go in kindergarten.

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