Saturday, March 7, 2009

Ice-cream for theater

I scream, you scream, we all eat ice-cream and then listen to Peter screaming his head off in the middle of Eisi's theater scene. More on that fun highlight later.

Tom woke up hacking like a 5-month old smoker, so we had to shuffle our plans. Shuffling plans is just a sugar-coated way of explaining to David that he was no longer going on the fun trip to Eisi's. David was so happy about this that he began screaming with joy until tears came out of his eyes.

I am not sure if it was joy or not, but the screaming and tears were definitely real. Peter helped by explaining five times as we got his coat and shoes on that he was going to Eisi's with the big boys and that David would be staying home. Thanks, ass.

Our original plan before getting shuffled was to drive to Eisi's together and either Angie or I would take Peter to watch Eisi's theater group, knowing full well that David and Tom would need to be left out of that part. With Tom sick, that took Angie and David out of the picture, leaving 'just the big boys'.

The drive to Eisi's took two hours. If anyone wants to know, that leaves enough time for approximately 187 questions. Not that anyone cares, but I answered two of them.

We picked up Eisi and shortly after we picked up a short woman who turned out to be Eisi's mom. Peter fell in love with Angelika around the time that she told the man behind the counter 'two scoops'.

We dropped off Eisi at the theater two hours early so he could get primped and prepped. To be honest, I thought three hours might have served him better, but their make-up guys must use big paint brushes with rollers, so in the end it worked out just fine.

Peter took Angelika and me through a lovely tour of Eisi's city. He had absolutely no idea where he was going, but he obviously wanted to get there fast. After about an hour of chasing Peter, we found a post office, where I finally mailed off my book to the publishers. I have been working on the damn thing for seven years, so it was a nice feeling to finally let it go. The clock is still ticking, but at least it is no longer waiting on me.

On the way back to the theater, I thought that I should explain to Peter what to expect. I learned this lesson the very first time I took Peter to a movie to see 'Happy Feet', a cute animated movie about penguins. I forgot to explain that a) the movie theater will be dark b) the movie theater will be VERY loud and c) when we walk into the movie theater, it could be that there is a trailer on for a new movie coming that features roaring dinosaurs running away from an erupting volcano. My failure to explain the ABC's of movie going resulted in tears and an irrational fear of dark places and popcorn.

This time I was prepared. I explained to Peter that we would not be watching a screen; that real people would be acting right in front of us. I also explained that unlike any other minute of his wakeful existence, he is not allowed to talk, shout, scream, yell, or make any bodily noises other than clapping. Feeling proud of my fatherly advice, we entered the theater.

The play was awesome! It was broken into 15 mini-scenes that took the audience on a theatrical tour to a different room for each scene. After the first one, Peter stood up for a rather aggressive clapping and then raced ahead of everyone to be the first one in the next room. It kinda freaked me out because I lost Peter in the crowd and you know how freaky theater-folk can be.

One of Eisi's scenes even took us outside.

The picture here illustrated Peter's inability to allow pictures to be taken without posing. I tried snapping this one of Eisi in the act of juggling and Mr. Face kept poking his mug into the frame. You'll notice a big orange tattoo on Peter's nose that reads 'Danger: Pirates!'. I don't know where this boy gets his crazy ideas. Like father, like weirdo, I guess.

A few scenes after this one, the real world slapped Peter in the face. Hard. Eisi had a small scene where he had to argue with his wife and throw her to the ground. Peter freaked out. 'THAT'S NOT NICE, PAPA! I DON'T LIKE THIS'. I use capital letters to indicate a certain tone of panic, but also to try and describe how loudly these two sentences were shouted. It's not often that actors stop in mid-scene and stare at the disappointed kid in the front row who had been giving standing ovations up until that point. At least I know that if I ever decide to scream at Angie and kick her to the ground, I better make sure I convince Peter that it's just 'theater'.

I laughed, the audience laughed, even the actors laughed after the scene. Peter ran outside and sat on a stone in the middle of a small pond and did not laugh.

Luckily, the next scene was outside, where Eisi played a silly farmer. Not that all farmers are silly - just those that feed slop to pigs. Peter was soon laughing again as Eisi fed slop to his make-believe pig. After the play, Eisi invited us pigs to feed on some slop with the rest of his theater group. We chowed down on potatoes and then headed home.

Peter's homecoming was similar to his farewell. 'Hi David, how was it staying at home while the big boys were away doing big boy things while you were not there because you didn't go with the big boys and just stayed here?'. David's response was eerily similar to Peter's reaction to the Ike and Tina show: 'THAT'S NOT NICE, PAPA! I DON'T LIKE THIS'.
Ladder Talk:
1) What was the best part of your day?
Peter: When I played with Eisi.
David: When I played like this - ready, set, go!

2) What was the worst part of your day?
Peter: When David hit me with his hand on my knees.
David: When I cry 'cause Eisi not here.

3) What would you like to do tomorrow?
Peter: To go to play with Eisi cars.
David: When I make a tumble.


  1. Congratulations on mailing your book! How did you decide to mail it after so long? and from Eisi's...did you plan that or just happen to have it with you? Well, the wait will be long, can't wait to hear the outcome....either way, it's quite an accomplishment!

  2. What book? I'm soo behind. You have a book. Now I'm asking 187 questions...but can you answer mine? :)

  3. Thanks! It was only chance that I mailed it from Eisi's. I have been dragging my ass for so long with it, I finally got off of what I was dragging and completed the final version. I have always said that finishing it was my goal - getting it published would just be gravy.

    UR: Sorry, not trying to keep it a secret, but I have not exactly been advertising it either (up until now). I have been writing a children's novel for some years now (not related to the blog). I will publish more details when it gets accepted. Otherwise, you will probably just read angry rants about stupid publishers.

  4. So glad to hear it's not something technical.
    And maybe not written in German?

    I'm impressed!

  5. Thanks for filling me in. I didn't want to be the only one left in the dark. ;)