Sunday, March 1, 2009

Hopping, with a chance of showers

The only thing I love more than getting kicked out of my own house is when I return to a gaggle of Angie's lady friends in full gossip mode. Today, I got the package deal.

I woke up feeling like I had overslept at Motel 6. Angie was the angry maid shaking me and telling me to get out. I tried complaining that there had been no chocolate on my pillow, but she just turned on the vacuum cleaner and pointed angrily towards the door.

For a change, I was not getting kicked out due to any perceived wrong-doing on my part. Angie was hosting Kika's baby shower, which naturally equated to a six hour cleaning frenzy. I questioned the logic of cleaning every square inch of the place so that a group of women could sit in the living room and drink coffee, but logic and Angie had never been good friends.

Cleaning, like cursing, is apparently something that Angie only does if the kids are gone. This certainly explains the condition of our house on most weeknights. I got the boys dressed, including Tom, and left Angie to her vulgar dusting and mopping.

We walked around town until Tom finally racked out and then we hit the playground. David had a ball dumping sand down Peter's shirt for almost an hour. Coincidentally, an hour is about when Peter reaches his limit as the human sand bucket and starts to beat David with a shovel. As amusing as that scene was to watch, I had to whip out plan B.

Plan B was hopscotch. Normally, I find the game to be incredibly boring to watch. That is because up until today, I have always watched kids that can actually hop. David fell over twice, which prompted me to laugh and point fingers at him. Soon after, he gave up on the game and wondered away with a bucket of sand in the direction of a new kid just arriving at the playground.

Peter was even more hilarious, since he was convinced that he was actually hopping. He looked more like a drunken kangaroo with a broken leg and who the hell wouldn't find that funny? Well, Peter for one. But he didn't give up. After 30 minutes or so, Roo had sobered up a little and was doing a pretty good job. Yeah, great - but can you whistle?

After a two-hour power nap, Tom woke up hungry. Since I was fresh out of boobs, we headed home and dropped Tom off for his feeding. It was like driving up to a drop-off, though. Peter, David and I were not even allowed to come in, since we might contaminate the sterility of the clean zone.

Next on my agenda of killing time before I could be allowed back into my own house was to take the boys to the zoo. Brian met us there with Dalia and we exchanged an understanding look that told me that he had also been kicked out. No words were spoken as we silently made our way to the beer tent.

The beer tent at the zoo is one of the best business ideas ever. It is right next to a huge playground so it makes for the perfect father-son outing. As we rounded the corner, though, Brian and I stopped in our tracks as we saw the sign. The beer tent was being renovated. Shit.

Brian and I cried for a few minutes and then went on the usual beer-donkey-goat-beer-monkey-camel-ice cream-lion-elephant-beer route that we normally take, just without the beer. Somehow, the animals just weren't that funny this time.

At least the kids had a ball, although it had nothing to do with being at the zoo. They played with each other and paid absolutely no attention to any of the animals. We could probably save a lot of money and just bring a six-pack to an abandoned parking lot and let the kids go nuts.

After the zoo closed, I felt we had earned the right to return home. We walked in on a group of women surrounding Kika and rubbing her belly. Had she not been pregnant, that would've looked mighty weird.

The baby shower was just coming to an end as we came home. This was good, since Peter and David took approximately three minutes to completely trash the place. Based on Angie's cleaning fury, her girlfriends obviously demand a high level of cleanliness. I wasn't worried, though. If we had gotten kicked out again, I would have simply taken the boys to Motel 6 and fed them the chocolate off of the pillows.
Ladder Talk:
1) What was the best part of your day?
Peter: When we go to the zoo.
David: When we go to the zoo with Dalia.

2) What was the worst part of your day?
Peter: When I couldn't read the book 'Waldo'
David: When I go not on the kiddie board.

3) What would you like to do tomorrow?
Peter: To play the beast. Dalia can be the beauty. David's going to be the man that's trying to make the beast dead.
David: When Peter make ga-gu-ka-ku.

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  1. 'Love your new family picture and that of Peter hopping - he's adorable.

  2. Hey Ceci!

    Thanks - adorable is one adjective :-)

    I love your blog on the Greenmarket. Next time, skip Paris, stop by Heidelberg - we will gladly give you a guided tour of the markets. We have one every day of the week in different parts of the city. We can also show you which days to skip :-)

  3. So I heard – that Germany is at the top group worldwide when it comes to conservation farming and horticulture. I bet you have uber-fresh produce and baked goods, and I’d love to check it out sometime.

    Thanks for the invite. You’ll be sorry when I show up at your door!!!