Saturday, February 28, 2009

The Tatooed Tree-killers

The morning started out with an attempt to give the boys their first ever ink poisoning. It ended up with a nice orange tattoo plastered to my forehead that read 'Danger: Pirates'. It might as well have read 'Moron' since that is the predominant look that I received for the rest of the weekend.

I am no stranger to embarrassing marks on my forehead. When I was a kid, I took my baby sister's suction cup rattle, licked it, and stuck it on my forehead. This made Vena laugh, which somehow told my 10-year old brain that I should dance around with it stuck to my head for over an hour. When I finally got bored of making an ass of myself, I discovered that leaving a suctioned device on your body for over an hour is the equivalent of giving yourself a really big hickey.

The next day, as I got on the school bus, all the kids wanted to know what the big round mark on my forehead was. 'Baseball. Came out of nowhere and WHACK! Right smack on the forehead'. Christine, my older sister with the big mouth, felt compelled to explain to the entire bus that it was not anything cool like getting whacked in the head with a baseball. She gleefully shouted out the details of how I managed to give myself a huge hickey on my forehead. Even the bus driver was laughing at me.

After briefly trying to scrub the tattoo off without success, I began to worry about how I would get the damn thing off before going back to work. To take my mind off of this minor problem, I rounded up the boys to go and destroy nature instead.

Sami had a tree on his patio that must have really pissed him off at some point. He called in my boys to back him up and to be honest, the tree never had a chance. As you can imagine, Destructo Dave was completely in his element and was absolutely thrilled to be out destroying anything. Peter had fun, too, until he got tree sap on his hands. I tried to explain that lumberjacks out in the forest don't drop everything and wash their hands every time they get dirty, but Mr. Clean didn't want to hear it. Whatever, neat freak.

After teaching the boys how to take out trees, I thought I would continue with the nature appreciation theme and took the boys to the pet store. Because, hey - where else can you get up-close and personal glimpses of animals locked up in cages the way nature didn't intend?

I picked up some kitty litter and as I paid, the lady at the register started flirting with me. Being a famous and well-known blogger, this is not so unusual for me, so I just played along. It began with a few obvious glances, followed by a smile. Then another smile, followed by some playful giggling. When the giggling turned into outright laughter, I remembered the freakin' tattoo on my forehead. Moron.
Ladder Talk:
1) What was the best part of your day?
Peter: When we were cutting down trees with Sami.
David: When I have fun from Kakarina and Sami.

2) What was the worst part of your day?
Peter: It was nothing that bad today.
David: When Peter made my animal away.

3) What would you like to do tomorrow?
Peter: To play with Dalia in the zoo.
David: When I have Sharky tattoos here and here and here and here, too.


  1. I bet she thought it was sexy. Kids, kitty litter, a bad*ss tattoo. Shows you're multi-layered.

  2. It definitely shows that I am something, but I doubt that sexy or multi-layered entered her mind.