Sunday, February 8, 2009

The bridge to appeasement

I woke up to the smell of anger and disappointment. Someone was pounding on the door and the phones were ringing off the hook. As I made my way to the front entrance, I heard shouting and yelling. I nervously opened the door and was confronted by a mob of angry fans.

'What the hell do you think you are doing?'

'Three weeks?! You skipped three weeks?'

'How dare you?! What kind of zoo are you running?!'

'We want those blogs. You OWE us those blogs!'

Ok, maybe it was not exactly a mob. To be honest, it was only two people and one of them was my wife. But the point is, I can not let down my three readers. As a compromise, I offered to bridge those missing three weeks with the following snipits of blogs that would have been, had I actually found the time to write them.

This was David, getting a kick out of getting kicked out of kindergarten for the first time. I would like to think it will be the last time, but I am a realist. Sorry to all those lame-ass pluralists out there. David felt so bad that he went inside, stole Tom's pacifier and tried flushing it down the toilet. Yes, you guessed - he laughed at that as well.

Peter proclaimed himself King of the Zoo. After covering the table with animals, he refused to remove them to eat. Who can argue with the King? I can. And with only one swoop of my hand and minimal crying.

Tom figured how to be both cute and disgusting within the span of 20 seconds. This picture would be the cute part. The bubbles that shortly followed this lovely snapshot would be the disgusting bit.

In Peter and David's version of The Lion and the Dragon, the lion is apparently not so happy about his role and the dragon thinks he is an iguana.

Peter is smiling here because he thinks he has found the key to never going to the ear doctor's again.

This is Tom, moments after we have broken the news to him that we are, in fact, related.

I came home to find Angie roaming the halls again. Unlike my cousin Itt, I am actually married to this one.
Jen and Doyle say ba-bye to Deutschland with a kick-ass party. Since Angie was weighted down with an anchor wrapped in diapers, I volunteered to attend in her absence. She was not as grateful as I would have expected, but I wisely chose to just let that one go.

Sami taught the boys how to play memory. I can't remember who won, though.

Tom had his first meal. In addition to gagging himself with a silver spoon, he also smeared food in his hair, on the rug and somehow managed to fling some on the cat. At least it answers one question - when it comes to eating, it looks like he will take after David and not Peter.

Before leaving the country for good, Jen and Doyle stopped by for an entertaining variation of see no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil. In addition to lemons and humor, they also brought 8 weeks worth of homemade Mexican food. Gracias!

Instead of driving us up the walls, Peter somehow confused the instructions from his mother ship and began climbing Eisi's radiator.

Eisi presented Peter with a walking stick that was his when he was Peter's age. We then spent the rest of the afternoon explaining to people that Peter was not blind.

So there, I hope my three readers are happy now. What about Ladder Talk? you might ask. For that, I can save a lot of time and boil it down to the following generic Ladder Talk that pretty much covers the entire period.
Ladder Talk:
1) What was the best part of your day?
Peter: When I play with Dalia.
David: When I play with Dalia.

2) What was the worst part of your day?
Peter: When David hit me on the [insert body part here] and it hurt.
David: When Gizma scratch me and I cry.

3) What would you like to do tomorrow?
Peter: To see Dalia.
David: To see Dalia.