Wednesday, February 17, 2010

I'm an excellent father

Peter has been bugging the crap out of me to go play darts with him ever since I told him that I won the World Professional Darts Championship. I didn't of course, but I've told him plenty of things that aren't true. Like that time I told him how awesome his hair looked after Mama Scissorhands attacked his head.

Part of being a good parent is being able to lie to your children. Santa Claus, the tooth fairy, shitty haircuts and bragging about yourself are all just in day's work. The embarrassing part comes when your five-year old son hits a bull's eye on his third dart and asks you why you haven't managed to hit one yet. Yo, barkeep! I'm gonna need a double over here.

Peter impressed and amazed me with his dart skills. Next week I plan to teach him table soccer and billiards will most certainly follow. Peter is not only my son; he is also a friend. As such, he needs to start now with learning everything there is to do in a pub. When he turns 14, Angie won't find us for weeks. Yes, I said 14. In Germany, you have to be 16 to drink beer and wine and 18 for the hard stuff. If you are 14, you are allowed to drink, as long as you are with a parent or responsible guardian. Luckily, I'm both.

After lugging darts and chugging Fanta all night, Peter just wanted to vegetate in front of the TV. He gets this from Mama.

Following the social atmosphere of the pub, I could not allow him to watch TV alone. We arranged for a neighborhood watch instead, which David apparently liked. He also liked my comments about his new and interesting haircut that Mama had given him. To round things off, I told Tom that his diaper smelled like roses. Definitely an excellent father.
Ladder Talk:
1) What was the best part of your day?
Peter: When I play darts with you and I play better as you.
David: When Chiara come over and she play with me.

2) What was the worst part of your day?
Peter: When I couldn't look with Mommy football because you make me go in bed.
David: When Alessio he go home and not play with me no more.

3) What would you like to do tomorrow?
Peter: To draw with Nil pictures of pirates.
David: To play with Carlotta.

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