Saturday, November 27, 2010

Mess, trouble and noise

Lately, Tom has been somewhat interested in the toilet. He doesn't actually want to use it, but when I was changing him this morning, he explained perfectly how it would work if he ever decides to stop crapping his pants.

The problem is summed up rather nicely on his shirt: 'Like to make mess, trouble and noise'. Tom obviously inherited some of Mama's genes, so the messy part is regrettable, but somehow understandable. What I don't get, though, is who the hell is teaching the boy to enjoy getting into trouble and being loud?

Before I could dwell on that puzzler any longer, the door bell rang. Sami, Kika, and Lauri showed up and we hit the streets to the Christmas Market.

The Christmas Market is a tradition in Germany that starts about four weeks before Christmas. In Heidelberg the University square and the Market square are converted into stands and booths that offer anything from sausages and warm wine to hand-made necklaces made from precious plastic. Our boys tore down arts & crafts alley and headed straight for the motherload.

One ride is never enough, but I can tell by the package 'deals' that they offer that we are not the only family spending hours on a big wheel that goes round and round.

They have these insane deals, like 'buy 20 rides and get one ride for half-price'. They might as well name it 'we've got your little ones hooked, so just fork over the cash and we'll play along with you when you tell the little ankle-biters that there is a limit to how many rides they are allowed to go on.'

Okay, that name probably wouldn't fit on the sign, but it was still the thought running through my brain as the smug bastard handed over the ride tokens.

In this picture, I could see David as Donald Trump, just without a half-destroyed mop on top of his head. I imagine Donald staring at a wad of fifties much in the same way that David is lovingly eye-balling his ride tokens. Tom would be Waldo, age two; before he switched to red stripes and went into hiding. Lauri would be Gary Coleman, doing his classic 'whatcha talkin' 'bout, Willis' stare that Waldo is so totally ignoring.

We held out until Tommy's lips turned blue and even then he didn't want to get off. It was probably because his fingers were frozen to the metal wheel, but Tommy decided to throw a freak-fit, so we'll never know for sure. At least his tears froze quickly, sealing his eyes shut for what turned out to be a rather short nap.

He awoke again in the warmth of our apartment to find Katherina entertaining Angie with his puppet book.

It doesn't take much to amuse Angie unless you're me, but I was still surprised that Tom wasn't more possessive about his book. With two older brothers, Tom has gotten quite good at announcing what it MINE! and what is NOT YOU! Let me just say, the moment of self-restraint was brief. Tom was only ignoring the whole 'hey that's my book' thing because he was too busy staring into the empty cookie tray.

'MINE cookie, Mama! You NO EAT!'

It was at that point that he finally noticed Kika goofing around with his book. For Katherina's sake, I intervened.

'Just put the book down gently and slowly walk away. Whatever you do, don't make eye contact. That just makes him really....'

'Hey! MINE book! MINE, NOT YOU!'

Meanwhile, the alpha males were taking an intellectual break from chest-beating.

Okay, Peter skipped the brainiac part and opted instead to wiggle his wiggly tooth for an hour. At one point, Mama meandered over and asked Peter if he needed any help with his tooth.


Short, but sweet. And sincere. And a bit worried. Okay, let's be honest - Peter was petrified shitless and came running into my arms as if the Predator herself was chasing him down. I assured 'Dutch' that I would mask his body heat signature with mud and not allow bipedal aliens to rip his tooth out. When this didn't work, I turned on a movie and made some popcorn.

The cool thing about lazy kids is that they are reliable. Throw on a flick and you're guaranteed at least 20 minutes of silence. Unless you're Tom, who got quite vocal when I stood between him and his precious TV. True to his shirt, he then threw his bowl of popcorn at me, making a huge mess and getting himself into trouble.
Ladder Talk:
1) What was the best part of your day?
Peter: That I could play with David a game from Star Wars.
David: That I play my game that I got a car with the pistol in the car.
Tom: David do a wagon.

2) What was the worst part of your day?
Peter: That Tommy was just trying to jump on my head the whole time.
David: That I can't play the Hotwheels so cool with Tommy.
Tom: It was dark like the hippo.

3) What would you like to do tomorrow?
Peter: To play with Arman.
David: Play with Tom and Peter - and maybe even you Papa - the car game.
Tom: Watch a show with a monkey.

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