Tuesday, January 6, 2015

Building up an appetite

We spent last weekend looking at sofas. By that, I of course mean that Angie wanted to look at sofas and dragged my wallet out kicking and screaming to hold her hand while she picked out our new sofa. For giggles, we brought the boys.

First, and mainly just to amuse Angie, we went to a real sofa store and spent hours looking at things made of leather that were all more than three times our budget. Then we did what most normal families do if they have three pre-teens and headed to the bargain rack at IKEA.

In addition to a new sofa that will be delivered sometime in February, Angie felt compelled to buy a bunch of boxes. You know, just to keep me busy on my last day of my vacation. If you ask Angie, there is very little that she doesn't know, but what she didn't know is that I have no problem with child labor when it comes to handiwork.

I had charged the power drill and brought out all of the cool tools that Opa gave me years ago in futile hopes of me actually learning how to use them. That's when IKEA broke the construction crew's bubble.

'Oh, sorry guys, but we don't need any tools at all. You only need a hexagon key and IKEA was clever enough to include one.'

I have to say, that completely took out the excitement for Tommy and Lauri. I still cracked the whip, of course, and told them to get back to work.

If I were Mr. IKEA, the first thing I would do is, of course, change my name. After that, I would ban any furniture that can be assembled without the use of a jackhammer or a chainsaw, preferably both. Yeah, both would be pretty cool.

After a hard day of deciding how IKEA should run their business and watching small children build my wife's furniture, nothing hits the spot more than a Happy Meal. Unless you're Tommy, who decided today, for the first time ever, that he did NOT want a Happy Meal.

But why did we go to McDonald's in the first place? Well, tonight was also Angie's trial lesson at the gym, which is conveniently located across the street. Me being the sensitive version of a honey badger thought she would appreciate her first workout in decades even more if she knew that I was across the street stuffing my face with burgers and fries. I was wrong.

Anyway, back to me waiting in line with Tommy, who seemed adamant about his decision.

'I don't want a Happy Meal!'

When it was our turn, Tommy felt compelled to drive home his point with the poor girl at the register.

'I don't want a Happy Meal!'

'Um, okay.'

After her unsolicited confirmation, Tommy disappeared with the big boys to find a table suitable of his newfound manliness.

The confused woman turned to me and shrugged.

'Yeah, ignore him. Give him a Happy Meal and throw in a pair of those Ninja Turtle glasses.'

'Um, okay.'

Ladder Talk: 
1) What was the best part of your day?
Peter: That Arman could come over.
David: That I could play Monopoly with Tom and Mom.
Tom: That we played Monopoly. 

2) What was the worst part of your day?
Peter: That Tommy kicked me in the nose. 
David: That Tommy kicked Peter in the nose.
Tom: That I accidentally kicked Peter in his face.

3) What would you like to do tomorrow?
Peter: To straighten up my Mine Craft world.
David: I want to do the 8th level by Pokemon.
Tom: I want to build a puzzle and then build another puzzle.

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