Saturday, July 26, 2008

Hat Trick

In soccer, if one person makes three goals in one game, it is called a 'hat trick'. Today, I would say the boys had three 'goals'.

Dalia had spent the night, so I needed something to occupy three half-pints and keep them quietly distracted until pick-up time. The logical outcome of that was of course a volcano. Some days, I must admit that I just don't amaze myself, but today was not one of those days.

Operation time-killer worked out great. First, the kids needed to go and collect the materials. The kids divided the tasks among themselves, which I found quite interesting. Dalia wanted to collect the tree bark, Peter was getting leaves and twigs, and David was in charge of finding rocks. The bugs, used chewing gum, greasy hamburger wrapper and soda cap were just extras that David apparently saw as needed for building a volcano. This took 45 minutes - check me out.

Next, everyone had to paint the trees. The trees, if you look closely, resemble empty toilet paper rolls. This is not a coincidence. I almost did not allow Diaper-Dave to paint them, since he has yet to contribute to the existence of empty toilet paper rolls. In the end, I caved in and gave him a paint brush and some water colors. This took 30 minutes - loving it!

An upside down salad bowl covered in newspaper served well as the volcano mountain. Five minutes of arguing over which color the volcano should be followed. 'Pink!', 'Blue!', and 'Bonky-monky orange!' were all shouted. Knowing the obvious choice by David, I should admit that Peter's choice was not blue. The rainbow mountain took 25 minutes - another five and I get the free toaster!

We added the baking soda to the plastic volcano top and went to look for vinegar. Shit. No vinegar. Probably should have checked that a little earlier. I have been getting good at disappointing our boys lately and as funny as that has been, the build up to another let down would have been too cruel. I tore apart the pantry and came back with balsamic salad dressing. It said on the label there was vinegar in it and at that point I did not really care.

The kids stood way back with their fingers in their ears, anticipating what was sure to be the next Big Bang! What came, though, was a few tiny bubbles and a smell that would probably appeal to vegetarians. As a meat-eater, I was slightly let down. Luckily, the kids were not. 'Wow, that was cool!' and 'Man, Papa, you are so much cooler than Mama'. Well, at least the first comment was said out loud. Goal one.

After over two hours of lava-hot excitement, we decided to cool off with a dip in the pool. Barbara and Eisi came over and we got ready to go. As Angie and I were busy packing towels and swim suits, Barbara mosied into the kitchen and began chowing down on our food. In the path of her vacuumesque devouring were two tiny tomatoes.

Now, allow me to pause here and tell you the story of these two small and innocent tomatoes. They started out over five months ago as little baby seeds. The boys would water them and wonder as they continued to grow. 'When are the tomatoes going to come, Papa?' was a frequent question. I explained the concept of patience, which flew over their heads at the speed of light. Eventually the day came when two tomatoes were ripe enough to eat. This day was yesterday. We cut down our immense harvest of TWO tiny cherry tomatoes and placed them in a glass bowl on the kitchen counter. The idea was to let the boys have them with dinner tonight. That is, of course, until Barbara the tomato-eating anticipation-thief came along and plopped them in her tomato-hungry mouth. Thanks, Barb.

At the pool, David stayed in the kiddy section and had an absolute ball running around and pouring buckets of water on the heads of all the other little toddlers. It was really cute and I was really proud that he did not shy away from the kids who were already crying; he made sure to dump out equal buckets of water on any kid smaller than him. Some parents even came up to me, pointed at David and asked 'Is that your son?' Oh, jealousy can be so ugly sometimes. At one point, some of the parents began pulling their kids out of the pool. I thought it was very considerate that they wanted to make more room for David and his fun. Goal two.

After the pool, Dalia was picked up and we went to Heidi's for a birthday BBQ. I knew that Barbara would be coming after us, so I warned Heidi to hide any sentimental agricultural goods she might have lying around. Heidi has a new puppy, Maya, who showed the boys what I called aggressive affection. It freaked the boys out. I, surprise surprise, found the whole puppy-love attack rather funny. By the end of the night, both the puppy and the boys had calmed down enough for Peter to enjoy a nice lick on the cheek from Maya. Goal three.

1) What was the best part of your day?
Peter: When we go to Heidi's and that dog lick my nose.
David: When I play with some animals with Dalia and Peter and me.

2) What was the worst part of your day?
Peter: When I by the swimming pool and I tried to go backwards, but I go underwater and can't smell. Not like elephants can.
David: Mine elbow hurt on the car.

3) What would you like to do tomorrow?
Peter: To go with Dalia to our garden or playground.
David: When I don't get mommy my room.


  1. The characters are fictitious and bear no resemblance to anyone living or dead. Any resemblance, if any, is purely coincidental and unintentional.

    I think you forgot that SENTENCE ;))))

  2. Oh well of course. Isn't everybodys idea of time killing a 'bonkey-monkey' colored volcano making extravaganza?

    Or is it just you?