Friday, July 18, 2008

Destructo Hulk


The alter ego of the Incredible Hulk is David Banner. The alter ego of Destructo Dave is also David. Coincidence? I think not.

Today, I was able to capture this increasingly frequent transformation during breakfast, when David was suddenly struck with the urgent need to destroy something. In this particular case, it was the scrambled eggs sitting in front of him. If you think that scrambled eggs already look somewhat destroyed, you should see the damage that Destructo Dave can inflict in just 10 seconds.

I think Angie had a rather stressful day. At work, I got a call around lunchtime. 'The baby phones don't work!'. As much as I wanted to say 'thanks for the update' and hang up, I did not. The boys were going to a party that night (without us) and the hostess of the party needed a baby phone for her little one. For me, it was a very simple solution. Since I could not reach through the phone and fix them, I told Angie to call the woman and simply explain to her that ours are broken. Huff. Puff. Click.

I came home to find Angie chasing David down the hallway. Angie was very angry. David was laughing his ass off. I found the whole situation to be quite amusing, but kept very quiet. I did realize that a pregnant woman and a two-year old child run at almost the same speed. In the end, Angie won and scooped up David. She plopped him down on the sofa and began the finger waving in front of the nose.

'I said No! That means NO. When I tell you something, you need to listen!'

David found Mama's yelling, spitting and hair-pulling to be quite hilarious and began laughing even harder. It didn't help that I was standing in the doorway unsuccessfully trying not to crack up. That is, of course, until she whipped around and reminded me that the baby phones still do not work. Well, it's a damn good thing we don't have a baby at the moment. The fact that I am able to still type these words should indicate whether that comment was said out loud or not.

When Angie calmed down and realized how funny it was that David found her funny, she told me about her day. Apparently, Destructo Dave's wrath did not stop with the egg bashing that morning. At some point during the day, David ran off into his room and apparently had another 'episode'.

Angie described hearing the sound of wood being ripped apart. I do not know how he did it, but somehow he managed to tear apart his wooden play table, which was quite sturdy, I might add. Angie walked in to find a content David playing with the screws and splinters of wood that now littered the floor. The top of the table had been completely torn off of the table stand. And let that be a warning to the rest of the furniture in David's room...

The boys were picked up shortly after I got home. I ran downstairs to move the kid seats to Sami's car and then came back to get the boys. When Peter came down, he looked in Sami's car and turned to me in amazement. 'Papa! Look! They have the same car seats that we do!' Yes, genius waved bye-bye as they drove away.

Angie had invited some girlfriends from work over and we grilled steaks and shrimp on the balcony. After a few hours, there was only so much talk about shopping and urinary infections that I could handle, so I went out to meet an old friend from my university days who was in town for a few nights. It was awesome - we had a great time, but it did remind me that my liver is no longer in university-shape.
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[No Ladder Talk - the boys partied too late]

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