Sunday, July 5, 2009

Animal House meets Road Trip

Road Trip Day 1: The fun begins...
Angie is horrible when it comes to faking smiles. Trust me, if she is not happy about something, she's not the bashful type that will try and hide it. Here she is trying to burst with excitement on the start of our ten-day road trip through Germany, Belgium, France, England, Wales, Ireland and back. Her radiant glow probably had more to do with the fact that it was our six-year anniversary. Happy Anniversary, sweetie!

Two days ago, we found out that Peter's ears are okay again, which meant that he no longer needs the ear surgery that was planned for next week, which meant that we could actually attend Mick and Lisa's wedding in Ireland. Silly Angie wanted to fly, but I got her hammered on wine and convinced her that a road trip would be more memorable. Day 1 certainly was.

So, we packed up the animals, suitcases and the kitchen sink and brilliant me thought I would take one more snapshot for the crapbook.

Apparently bright flashy things make Peter and David need to pee. It was actually quite funny because mere moments before in the apartment we had asked both of them repeatedly if they needed the toilet. Yeah, funny.

Anywho, after getting everyone buckled in for the second time, we hit the road. The kids fell asleep right away, which we thought was great. Traffic was light and we hit the French border in no time. Almost immediately, the smell of stinky cheese filled the car.

I thought it was strange that I was able to actually smell national stereotypes, so I started sniffing around for red wine and looking for white flags. Nothing, just cheese. I have to say that Angie was far from helpful in helping me pinpoint the origin of that particular phenomenon.

Speaking of stinky things, we stopped for gas.

When in Rome, do as the Romans do. When in France, our boys were somehow taught to jump into strangers' race cars and look cute. I blame myself for their cute looks and Opa and his Cobra for their love of cars with racing stripes. I forgave him, though, since he bought me the navigation system that got us through France as quickly as possible. The country is nice, but it smells a little like feet.

After tanking up, the boys tanked out.

Again, Angie and I enjoyed the silence, but I began to wonder what effect our boys sleeping all day would have at bedtime. Mmmm, is the foreshadowing too obvious?

When you're on the road, you're supposed to eat junk food. It's a rule and our family is notorious for not breaking rules. Okay, at least we're notorious. [Note: don't ask for Freedom Fries in France]

It's a cliche that kids need to stop every two miles to pee. Cliche smells French to me and since we were in France...

Don't ask me why Mama the big nature freak wanted to photograph Peter's nature call. She's not big, and she's not into nature, so, mmm...what does that leave?

Our great plan of letting the boys sleep all freakin' day backfired when we hit the docks, waiting for the ferry.
As soon as we unleashed the circus animals from their seats, they went wackier than Monty's flying python. And now for something completely different: hot, sexy blogger holds disgruntled baby waiting for a ferry to England.

Our boat ride to England made me really contemplate life and the long car ride ahead and how easily it would be to just jump into the water and swim away. I'm an excellent swimmer. Definitely an excellent swimmer.

I love that Angie looks like she is reenacting the scene from Titanic. I know that Leonardo was young, but this is just ridiculous! I obviously like older women, but come on, Oedipus!

Somehow I survived the ferry without being thrown overboard by any of my beloved miscreants, including Angie, who was still stinky-sour over not having a nice, romantic dinner to celebrate our sextennial. That's probably not a word, but it sounds French and has some well-known English words in it, so it somehow fits with today's journey. I'm not one to disappoint, as the both of you know, so I arranged for an exquisite meal for two.

We had music, we had wine, we even had stinky cheese. Angie demanded to know where the candle was and I begged her to put her shoes back on. The ensuing discussion made it almost seem as if we were some old married couple. Happy Anniversary, sweetie!
Ladder Talk:
[We made it to the hotel after midnight - no Ladder Talk for the tuckered out]


  1. What's that smell coming off my monitor? Nice post.

  2. @Jamie: If it smells like cheese, it could be Angie's French pedicure. Otherwise, thanks :-)