Friday, July 3, 2009

Twitchy Foot and the Red Giggler

Doyle missed me so much, he came all the way back to Germany just to hang out. I thought it was strange that Doyle kept insisting that he was 'here on business; not to see you'. He was probably just too macho to admit to me his real feelings. Whatever, tough guy - nice pink shirt.

Doyle brought Jen along with him, but before we get to the bourbon shots and stories of a red-headed girl's misguided youth, check out Tommy's version of slinging shots.

His evil grin is a bit troublesome, though. Knowing all too well David's passion for destroying things and inflicting pain, I am not sure if a slingshot is really the best choice of toy for Tommy at this early stage of social development. Besides, I'm quite sure he'll learn plenty about weapons from David, including the eight ways to incapacitate a teacher using the common crayon. Don't ask.

Speaking of our Angel, here is David enjoying one of Angie's home-cooked meals.

I flashed this same pose many times during my college years, but the kid is only three! If he starts throwing toga parties, I'm going to have to figure a way to get Angie out of the house so we can party like rock stars.

After baby-wiping the grease out of sleeping beauty's hair, I hit the town to meet up with Jen and Doyle. Since I had just won the Canadian blog award, I felt obliged to hang out with a few canooks.

It was great hanging out with John and Liz, my funny speaking North American friends. I love maple syrup and hockey and even though I don't have a pet beaver, I'm sure I earned Canadian cool points by guzzling lots of beer.

I wasn't the only one guzzling. After her third glass, Jen began telling us stories about what a horrible little girl she was growing up. Um, did you say 'was'? There was something disturbing about the way she cracked up while telling us how she locked her babysitter out of the house. The poor guy is probably still in therapy.

As Jen explained how she narrowly avoided detention camp, Doyle was busy pacing back and forth. Doyle is an odd guy anyway, so we are all used to his strange behavior, but after an hour we asked him what the hell was wrong.

'I've got Restless Foot Syndrome.'

[five minutes of laughing, giggling and snickering]

''re serious? What is that, exactly?'

Since most medical terms are Latin-based and sometimes hard to decipher, allow me to explain in layman's terms what Restless Foot Syndrome is. It's when your feet are restless. Man, those years of Latin really paid off.

I don't normally laugh at sick people unless they really deserve it. Doyle did not deserve it, but oh well. Him and his twitchy legs had us rolling for at least two beers. You should have seen Footloose go crazy on the dance floor!

After another beer, Jen ordered some bourbon shots and pretty soon, Doyle's leg twitch had travelled up his torso and caused a sudden outbreak of Restless Finger Syndrome.

If you need a Latin translation of Restless Finger Syndrome, just let me know; I won't actually translate it, but at least I'll know you're stupid. The symptoms involve sitting on a bar stool and loudly shouting along with people trying to do karaoke. I can tell you, it's very painful to listen to and can severely irritate singers on stage. Doyle didn't seem to care, though. He had his bad-ass pink shirt on that shouted 'step back, a'ight - I'm on business, yo'.
Ladder Talk:
[David was face-down in pepperoni and did not wake up for Ladder Talk]
1) What was the best part of your day?
Peter: When we go'ed on the playground with Isabel and Elisabeth.

2) What was the worst part of your day?
Peter: When I didn't want that I finish my pizza.

3) What would you like to do tomorrow?
Peter: To play with Spiderman that you can be Spiderman and we can play together.


  1. For the last time, that shirt is not pink, it is salmon. And it is Restless Leg Syndrome, not Restless Foot Syndrome. How you don't get sued for libel is beyond me.

  2. @Doyle: Salmon is just the masculine form of Fuschia, but you can call it bonky-monky-orange if it makes you feel more secure in your wardrobe selection. Sorry about the twitchy limb mixup.