Saturday, September 18, 2010

Heigh-Ho! Heigh-Ho!

'Hi God, this is Angie....No, Angie - the one with the three wild boys and.... No, I'm not trying to sell anything. Look, my oldest son, Peter, is starting school today and we're supposed to be at a church for the opening ceremony, but I'm not exactly sure which one....Yes, I know it starts in two minutes, that's why I'm....Well of course I should have found out earlier, but....Hey look, it was only a question; you don't need to get all 'holier than thou' with me....Oh, that's right - sorry.'

As Angie frantically called every parent from Peter's class in the hopes of finding someone who was running as late as we were and had a clue as to where we were supposed to be, Eisi and Peter helped by busting out a duet rendition of 'Get me to the church on time'.

Angie eventually found someone who had not yet silenced their cell phone and we were finally ready to get Peter edumacated.

Along the way, Peter made a pit stop by the Swatch store to show off his new Swatch to the people that work there. Because, yeah - they've never seen one of those!

It's great that Peter now has a watch; it's just too bad he can't yet tell time. Had he been able to, his Swatch would have told his late ass to get moving. It didn't help much that the mature ones were leisurely taking coffee breaks as Angie was panicking her way to church.

When we finally made it, Peter closed his eyes and prayed that he would not do anything as silly or embarrassing as Papa during his last holy visit.

You might label me as the 'silly police', but whistling in church because you're nervously excited is pretty bizarre, even in my book.

As Peter whistled Dixie, David broke out into a full-frenzy mosh solo on the air drums. I guess I can be thankful that, although blurry, it was relatively quiet. And that he didn't start crowd surfing during the middle of the sermon.

I left Animal with Eisi and the other muppets and navigated my way through the church to get this nice head shot of Peter. You are HEALED!

About halfway through the service, Tommy's stomach demanded to see the boss. Watching Tom devour food can be pretty interesting, so I volunteered to do the feeding. As we walked up the pedestrian street to a nearby bakery, Tommy felt compelled to scream at everyone that walked by that 'I hungy, I want a eat!'. The street gawkers all just stared at me like 'why don't you feed your kid, man?'.

At the bakery, the hungy kid made such a fuss when he saw food that the other patrons in line 'allowed' us to be served first.

'Gimme a bottle of anything...and a glazed donut to go!'

The lady working the counter was obviously not a David Lee Roth fan, so I opted for a couple of pretzels and a chocolate croissant instead. Before we could leave the store, Tom had snatched the bag and was already on pretzel number 2 by the time we made it back to the church.

I can only hope that the rather loud and satisfied burp was Tommy's way of complimenting the baker. At least it happened on the street-side of the church, which had just let out. Next on the agenda was a visit to the school, were the older kids created a gauntlet for the new 'yellow hats' to proudly march through.

As Peter endured his first school lesson, David showed us his new hip-hop dance.

Today was just the ceremonial lesson - the real fun starts on Monday. After about an hour, the newbies made their triumphant exit.

I was glad to see that Peter had escaped with a cookie instead of a wedgie. I guess that fun doesn't start until middle school.

On the way home, Tommy's legs demanded to see the boss. I guess all that binge eating had tuckered out the poor monkey. Luckily, Opa's back came to the rescue.

In Germany, it's tradition on the first day to get a gigantic cone filled with school supplies and candy. I have long since given up on trying to understand German traditions; I just know that Peter was mega-excited about starting school, so it obviously works. Of course, on my first day, I was given a plastic lunch box and pointed in the general direction of the school and I was still excited, but whatever. Rulers and chocolate!

At one point, David got tired of watching Peter open gifts and decided it was time for his afternoon hug. Eisi is a natural-born hugger, so it was a win-win thing.

I think it's funny that Peter wanted to open the card first when he cannot even read, but that should be changing soon. Right?

After gifts & hugs hour, Eisi decided to wow the kids with his ability to put together IKEA furniture without reading the instructions.

Today's construction is brought to you by Mama, the woman who demanded to have stools for the dining room table. Someone, but I won't say my name, tried to explain that the seat of the stool is exactly the same height as our table, leaving no room for a person's legs. Essentially, you have to awkwardly straddle the chair and hunch over to reach the table. Don't get me wrong, I'm all about getting bar stools for the pad, but they only work if you have a bar. I'll ask Santa for one again this year, but something tells me that Mrs. Santa still retains veto rights.

David was getting visibly irritated watching Peter open his many gifts. I got a little nervous when he began asking for his hammer, but Katherina came to the rescue with a children's map just for David. Peter was too busy stuffing his face with cake to notice David's sudden interest in geography. He surprised me by knowing what a boarding school is and unless Mrs. Santa vetoes David's list, Peter might be spending next year somewhere in Southeast Asia.

Ladder Talk:
1) What was the best part of your day?
Peter: That I'm the first day in school and that I got so much sweet things.
David: Eisi was here, Katherina, and Grams & Opa, and Barbara and Armin and a volcano.

2) What was the worst part of your day?
Peter: When I couldn't play with David on the piano.
David: That I don't can more see the friends.

3) What would you like to do tomorrow?
Peter: I want to get in the bath.
David: Take my pirate ship and throw it in the bath.

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