Tuesday, December 23, 2014

The Christmas Pickle

'Hey, Tommy. Nice pickle.'

'It's a cucumber!'

'Same thing.'


'Okay, what's the German word for cucumber?'


'And what's the German word for pickle?'


'See? Same thing.'

Unless you're German, everyone knows that the Christmas Pickle is an age-old German tradition. What most non-Germans don't know is that this 'tradition' was invented by a German ornament salesman who was simply trying to get rid of a batch of hideous-looking bulbs.

Another tradition, invented by a man with more hair on his biceps than Chuck Norris, is to place bets on who will break the first bulb. For the last few years, I always had my money on David, but this year, I went with the hyperactive kid doing karate somersault flips from the sofa.

'So, tell me again - who was the first person to break a bulb this year?'

At least he was honest. Speaking of honesty, I can honestly say that The Decorators earned their keep this year.

For some people, trimming the tree can really work up an appetite. For others, it makes you thirsty. I thought I'd kill both birds and went to the kitchen for popcorn and beer. And not necessarily in that order.

After getting David, Tommy and my liver settled, I turned to find that Peter had invented a tradition of his own.

I'm calling it Christmas Kitty. It's a German-American tradition that started in 2014, when a really weird kid decided to do things to string that would even make cats curious. Doesn't matter, I plan to start exporting yellow string to non-German countries early next year. If you would like to pre-order, drop me a line and I will give you my PayPal details.  
Ladder Talk: 
1) What was the best part of your day?
Peter: When we decorated the Christmas tree.
David: That we had so much fun with the tree. 
Tom: When I was the first to hang up on the tree.

2) What was the worst part of your day?
Peter: When Arman had to go home.
David: When Luca couldn't stay by the tree decorating.
Tom: When I broke the Christmas ball.

3) What would you like to do tomorrow?
Peter: I want to make a special dessert by the Christmas dinner.
David: I want everyone to have fun on Christmas evening.
Tom: I want to play with David Monopoly.

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