Wednesday, September 3, 2008

Down with books!

I am not sure what the books on the middle shelf did to piss off David, but he sure showed them. I am sure that somewhere in his tiny brain lies a perfectly justifiable explanation, but like the whole OJ thing, we will never know for sure.

After clearing the shelves of aggression, David decided to move into the bathroom. For a change, I listened to the voices in my head and followed the hostile librarian to see what was next on his mental list of things to destroy.

As it turned out, David wanted to empty his bath toys into the empty bath. I said no. He cried. Angie came running.

David changed his tune quickly and explained to gullible Mama that he only wanted one toy and mean old Papa was being a mean old meany. Angie stared at me briefly and gave him the toy. David then turned to me and gave me the ultimate smug look of victory.

Instead of walking away, David smiled at me and said 'I stink, Papa'. Before I could blink, Angie walked past me and told me to change him. I glared at him and he just grinned contently.

I threw him on the changing table, undid his diaper and the little shit peed on me. As if that were not enough, he laughed at me. If he wasn't two, I would say that he was being very immature.

As I picked up the pile of books, I saw some that taught children how to use the toilet. Other books told kids of the fun you can have cleaning up your room. What I really needed at that point, though, was a book to show parents how to regain dignity after your book bashing, smug kid pees on you and then laughs. Until that one is written, beer works.
1) What was the best part of your day?
Peter: When I played with Sebastian and Marie and play that trick with the cards - there's nothing in it then the picture is wrong and something is inside.
David: When Sebastian and Marie come and I won.

2) What was the worst part of your day?
Peter: When I tried to go on the bed and Sebastian pushed me out of the bed and I hit the floor.
David: When Gizma scratch.

3) What would you like to do tomorrow?
Peter: To play with you that monkey game.
David: When I go Grams and Opa.

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