Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Cirque d'hamburger

This is Peter, arriving at the circus and notably excited. Before I go on, though, let us backtrack and journey through the events leading up to this memorable snapshot.

I would normally take the train to work, but today I decided to take the car so it would be easier for me to leave in time for the circus.

Angie would normally go to playgroup in the morning with Peter & David. Since I had the car, though, the playgroup idea was scrapped. Strike one, Papa.

David would normally take a nap, but since I took the car, there was no playgroup, so there was no energy burned, leaving a very wide awake 2-year old for Angie to deal with. After several frustrating hours of trying, David finally did lay down for what would be a rather short nap. Angie seized the moment and decided to take Peter and sleeping beauty to art class that was conveniently within walking distance. She carried David downstairs with the intention of dumping David in his stroller as part of her master plan to have Peter doodle and David snore for the next hour or so. But, since I took the car, and the stroller was in the trunk of the car, the long awaited silence of naptime was replaced by the very annoyed and angry screams of a baby prematurely awoken. Strike two, Papa.

Not one to be easily deterred, Angie marched on to art class with David tucked under one arm, most likely to stifle the lingering screams and pouting. Sweating, out of breath, and suffering from minor hearing loss, Angie arrives at the art class only to find a note on the door: "Art class cancelled". Thanks for the very detailed and explanatory note, you assholes!

Angie and the boys then turned about face and march back home. At home, Peter rings the neighbor's bell to ask if their kids want to play in the garden. "No, Peter is too little" was the reply. You know what's not little? My foot, you little turd. Why don't you come over here so I can ...

Angie interrupts with a nice reminder that it doesn't matter if the retarded neighbors don't want to hang out - we are going to the circus tonight and that will be FUN!! As always, Mama knows how to bring back smiles to Peter and David. So, we pack into the car to and head to the circus grounds. We are supposed to meet friends at the main gate, so we park our car around the corner behind the big tent.

We now come back to the picture. Peter is so excited about going to the circus for the first time. We pause for a second in front of the BIG TENT to take a quick photo. MAN!! This is going to be great! Best time EVER!! As you can probably see in the picture, there are not many people. You would expect that if the circus was starting in 15 minutes, a larger crowd might be lingering about outside. As we turned the corner and headed towards the front of the tent, we noticed the ticket counters were boarded up and dark.

In front of the deserted ticket booth stood the family we were supposed to meet. For a brief moment, we stood there trying to figure out what was going on, when her husband and I locked eyes. Holy Shit! We exchanged a brief flicker of recognition. We let our WIVES plan this??!! Needless to say, the circus was closed, something that was clearly written on the schedules of the tickets now clutched in the hands of the two red-faced, but still stunningly beautiful, loves our of lives.

We could only blame ourselves. Shopping, nagging, breastfeeding - all things clearly within the responsibilities and confines of wifehood. Organizing a complicated event like going to a circus and checking that the show was actually playing is stretching the imagination a bit too far, apparently.

Being the quick thinker I am, I immediately tried to find a way out of it. Hey, Peter, wasn't that great? I love the circus - we'll have to do this again some time, huh?. The look of sheer disappointment made me stop, though. He was not buying it, so I resorted to what surely must be the next best thing to the circus - Burger King.

As the kids chowed down on burgers, chicken nuggets and onion rings, I could only conjure one thought - I never got my third strike.

Ladder Talk:
1) What was the best part of your day?
Peter: When we go to the circus.

2) What was the worst part of your day?
Peter: When we go to the circus and it was not open.

3) What would you like to do tomorrow?
Peter: To go to the circus.

see related cartoon

1 comment: