Tuesday, October 7, 2008

The Rainbow and the Jellyfish

According to Peter, this is obviously a picture of Tom. Holy stupid me! This is clearly evident by the presence of the jellyfish, some safety scissors, a green shark wearing lipstick, a rather dark rainbow and a giant sneeze mark. If beauty is in the eye of the beholder, I may need thicker glasses.

This morning started out great, if great is your idea of three kids screaming in stereo at 6 o'clock in the AM. Peter started the whole chorus by screaming out 'my knee hurts', followed by David screaming 'I'm sorry Peter'. The grand finale came when Tom screamed. Just screamed.

Papa saved the day by telling all three of them to shut up. When that didn't work, I tried feeding them. That worked for Peter and David, but Tom was just being a little baby. Excuse me for not having boobies.

I took Peter off to kindergarten and came back to find David watching a cartoon involving a dog and an astronaut. David proudly announced to Angie and I that when he grows up, he wants to be the dog. I personally think it is healthy for him to set his goals so low. So many kids nowadays want to be spectacular things like the Astronaut or the President or the sexy author of a really funny blog. It's refreshing to know that our kids want to simply keep it real and be common house pets. You go, dog.

Grams, Opa and Carol came over to take Lassie off the leash for a few hours. Opa was forced to stay behind and help me do really complicated handyman work. I won't bore you with the details, just know that complicated to me means changing a lightbulb. For Opa, complicated means flying an airplane.

Opa came with the trailer and what is one to do with an empty trailer other than go to IKEA and fill it with more shit to build? I really should be getting IKEA to sponsor me at some point. We already account for more than half of their monthly intake so why shouldn't they make us their poster family?

Today's victim was another closet for the boys. Since Tom crashed our party of four, Peter has begun marking out his territory, saying things like 'David already keeps his stinky dirty yucky socks next to mine - does this mean that Tom is going to put his there, too?'. His sudden need for space to store his filthy toe mittens turned into another IKEA closet, just for him and his reclusive feet. Now, I can safely say that his stink, David's stench and Tom's reekiness will happily remain odor hermits forever after.

Throughout the day, we had a few visitors. Notice the thoughtful lack of 'too many' in the previous sentence between 'few' and 'visitors'. We will be installing the revolving door next week to better accommodate the number of people stopping by on a daily basis to see me. And Tom, according to them, but I know what they really mean by 'we came here just to see Tom, not you'. Yeah, right. Wink, wink. Now quit looking at the wrinkly kid and go get yourself some thicker glasses.
Ladder Talk:
1) What was the best part of your day?
Peter: When Grams pick me up.
David: When I go'ed mit Mama see this water.

2) What was the worst part of your day?
Peter: When I couldn't be longer on my drawing class.
David: When Christoph bit me. [Just so you know, Christoph, like Gizma, has only bitten David once. He is now reliving this 'worst' moment despite the fact that they get along just fine. They, being both Gizma and Christoph.]

3) What would you like to do tomorrow?
Peter: To play with Tom something but I don't know what.
David: When Grams pick me up.

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