Friday, October 17, 2008

Things are looking up

It may look like Peter is waiting to be beamed up by aliens, but the only strange creature staring down at him is me. Today, Peter embarked on his first solo flight to kindergarten. One small step for Peter, one giant step for ensuring Papa's laziness since I no longer need to walk Peter to school. Get the hell out of my nest, little bird.

This morning began with the routine cereal request from Peter and David, with one minor difference. Today, when I opened the cabinet to get out the bowls, a wave of sour milk tickled my nose hairs. Hmmm, intriguing.

As I investigated the source of this foul surprise, I flashed back to yesterday morning, when David was so eager to show me what a big boy he was and begged me to allow him to take the cereal bowls to the kitchen. Shit!

At that point, it dawned on me that I never actually told him to put the bowls in the sink. David, like any normal android, was simply following what was logically programmed into his memory chip. Papa gets the bowls from the cabinet. I must take the bowls back home.

Throughout the day, David proved over and over again his inability to grasp the whole 'toilet' concept. Given the current financial crisis, which actually hit our family years ago, I would really expect David to chip in and start trying to save us the cost of diapers, because hey, that shit can be expensive.

Despite David's potty training setbacks, he went to his first hour of kindergarten today. It was the first in a series of 'warm-up' visits that are designed to prepare David for the harsh reality of k-world. I am not sure these are really needed, though. David's midas-like knack for destroying anything he touches should quickly win over the respect and fear of the other kinders at the garten.

At dinner tonight, I made sausages for the boys. Peter explained to me that he is mature enough to eat sausages with the skin and was quick to point out that 'David the big baby needs to have his sausages peeled'. Little did he know at that point that he might regret highlighting this minor eating preference.

Peter struggled with his plate for over an hour. I got annoyed and told Peter that I was going to the kitchen to clean up and that when I got back, his plate better be clean. Peter nodded and David giggled with glee. Aaahh, brotherly love.

When I came back in, Peter's plate was clean. 'Hey! Bravo! Great job finishing your...hey! What the hell is that?! When I left, David had one piece left and now he had five pieces and four of them had skin. How do you explain that?'

Kids are so funny because they do not realize how obviously comical their faces are when trying to lie. After half a minute of brain-searching, Peter came up with a dazzler. 'I think the sausages flew from my plate over to David's'.

Oh, ok. As long as there is some reasonable explanation. Thanks for clearing that one up. I'm just going to get a bucket of water ready for when your pants burst into flames.
Ladder Talk:
1) What was the best part of your day?
Peter: When I go'ed to the kindergarten and saw David.
David: When I go to the kindergarten like a big boy.

2) What was the worst part of your day?
Peter: When I cried because I couldn't eat so much and then I put food on David's plate and then I told you that it flew there - that was not true and then you make me in trouble and that's when I cried cause you said I couldn't have a dessert and so I started crying.
David: When Tom cry.

3) What would you like to do tomorrow?
Peter: Play with you dress up.
David: When I swimming pool and I swim and I swim and no get out.

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