Monday, June 15, 2009

Happy Blogday to Zoo!

Our family blog is a lot like a child. Both can be a real pain in the ass at times, it often feels like they are sucking the life out of you, and you rarely get a pat on the back for not killing them. In the end, though, the blood, sweat and tears are all worth it. At least I keep telling myself this.

The blog started exactly a year ago. It was shortly after a trip to Ireland with Eisi to claim our Guinness record on getting hammered and to kickoff his European road trip. In Dublin, he explained to me that he had a blog. I told him that I was really sorry and asked if it was contagious. He gave me a look that I know all too well from Angie and then he explained to me using one-syllable words exactly what a blog was. Mmmm....intriguing.

The dealer had not quite hooked me yet and he knew this. To put the nail in the junkie, he asked me to ghost-write one of his blogs, which I titled Shit, ducks and other fun things for kids... I had a lot of fun and subsequently wrote the next two, Day three and we end up in jail and Freaky Freddy and Scary Susie. Need. More. Blog.

Since ghost-writing is what got me into this mess, I am going to try and hook my two readers. In the next couple of days, I will announce a contest, where I will provide several good "flashback" stories that have yet to be written. You know the Zoo, at least from my whacky perspective - you can choose one and write your version. I'll be grading them with a big fat red marker and publish the one with the most color. Stay tuned. Or not.

Since it's the Zoo's birthday, and I am the proud father, I feel the urge to flash a few figures and brag a little. Show me your stats!

Other than last month, which was plagued with David's birthday, my birthday, and a bunch of sick animals, the Zoo has consistently grown. Since last year, we've had over 5,000 visits and have gone from a monthly average of zero readers to 813. We now have a monthly average of 1,800 page views. If you're not asking it, I certainly am - where the hell are all these freaks coming from?

Uh, everywhere. Specifically:

Germany (DE)1,956 United States (US)1,540 United Kingdom (GB)140 Europe (EU)100 Canada (CA)79 Switzerland (CH)68 Australia (AU)31 France (FR)24 Bahrain (BH)23 Italy (IT)22 Czech Republic (CZ)22 India (IN)20 Greece (GR)9 Philippines (PH)9 Bulgaria (BG)9 Bosnia and Herzegovina (BA)8 Spain (ES)8 Singapore (SG)6 Portugal (PT)5 Brazil (BR)5 Netherlands (NL)4 Malaysia (MY)4 Turkey (TR)4 Denmark (DK)4 Russian Federation (RU)3 Sweden (SE)3 Ireland (IE)3 Belgium (BE)3 Thailand (TH)3 Pakistan (PK)3 Poland (PL)3 Romania (RO)3 Lithuania (LT)3 Norway (NO)2 Ukraine (UA)2 Cyprus (CY)2 Korea, Republic of (KR)2 Egypt (EG)2 United Arab Emirates (AE)2 Venezuela (VE)2 New Zealand (NZ)2 South Africa (ZA)2 China (CN)2 Kuwait (KW)2 Sri Lanka (LK)1 Lebanon (LB)1 Netherlands Antilles (AN)1 Kenya (KE)1 Indonesia (ID)1 Albania (AL)1 Serbia (RS)1 Cook Islands (CK)1 Puerto Rico (PR)1 Dominican Republic (DO)1 Mexico (MX)1 Croatia (HR)1 Israel (IL)1 Iraq (IQ)1 Hungary (HU)1 Taiwan (TW)1 Morocco (MA)1 Slovenia (SI)1

Ok, I must admit, I have never heard of some of those countries. Thanks for reading, though.

As long as I am bragging, I can also point out that in April, The Johnson's Zoo placed 3rd out of 1,600 blogs in the family category of The Toilet Roll, the Zoo's sister blog, placed 1st in the cartoon category. We are also nominated for the Best Humor Blog on - in fact, it's not too late to vote. I know, I'm shameless - I'll stop if you vote for me.

Ok, enough about us - how are you doing?
Ladder Talk:
1) What was the best part of your day?
Peter: When I played computer.
David: When Peter played with me and I laugh so many.

2) What was the worst part of your day?
Peter: Today, nothing was bad. Sorry.
David: When Mama say over and over me to open my mouth for brushing teeth and I no like that.

3) What would you like to do tomorrow?
Peter: To go to Kindergarten and play games with Arman.
David: When Peter play with me.

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