Sunday, June 14, 2009

I see weird people

Reflection: a transformation of a figure in which each point is replaced by a point symmetric with respect to a line or plane.

Uh, ok... I guess I didn't reflect on it that much. I was actually just trying to get the kids to blowfish the people inside, but hey - that transformiguration stuff sounds pretty cool, too.

One of my two readers has complained that I am slightly behind on my blogging. Hey, you know what - some of us are too busy living life to actually write about it. Not me, of course - I gave up my life when I bought a car that fits on a finger and signed that social and legally binding contract-thingy with Angie.

In an effort to catch up, today's blog will be somewhat of a blitz. Yes, I can use that word - I am married to a German. For the past week, Angie has been sicker than some of the guys I knew when I was in the Navy, which has forced to me to take off of work, strap on my knee-high boots and jump in there with the animals. I smell sugar.

Before getting to sicko Angie and the sugar monkeys, let's take a stroll down the last few weeks...

Here, Sarah's posse and the Zoo Crew decided to take the mountain cable-car up to an amusement park.

Either Tom is really bored, or he thinks the approaching cable car is the biggest boob he has ever seen. He got me, I must admit. I looked twice for the mega boob before ruling that the kid is just weird.

Speaking of weird kids.... When we finally reached the amusement park, we released Peter into the ball cage to run wild with the other hellions.

Something about his sad look and his clawing at the net to get out told me he didn't like the ball cage at all. After laughing and taking several pics, I let the sad kid out of his cage.

Tom's new thing, other than annoying the shit out of Papa every two hours at night, is that he can clap.

Yippeee!! Aren't you special? What about your other appendages? Can you walk? No. Can you crawl? No. Well, can you at least sit?

Bravo! Tom sure is a great sitter, isn't he? Meher should really get the credit, though. She sure is a great holder, isn't she? Not much of a babysitter, though. Psst...Meher, you should be sitting on the baby, not the other way around. It didn't matter - soon Tom was screaming, along with the other kids screaming for ice-cream.

Seher loved the ice-cream and it only took her two whole minutes of watching David to learn the fine art of making a pig of yourself.

Luckily, with a combined kid count of five, we had a few wet wipes lying around. In addition to Smudge Master, David also earned the title of Grill Master.

Ok, Opa was the Grill Master, but David was definitely interested in learning more about the whole 'fire' thing. Note to self: raise the fire insurance.

At some point, I wondered where Peter had disappeared to.

Ah, thanks, Grams. It's not bad enough that both Angie and her Mom would love to have a little girl - now they have resorted to dressing Peter up in pig-tails? Speaking of pigs, we needed bacon, so I rescued Petra and took her shopping with me. A man.

That's right, just the Y chromosomes...hanging know, buying that we can cook....Okay, cut it out! It was a freakin' male bonding moment, okay? We're metro, baby.

Speaking of babies, check out Tom. It only looks like he is doing push-ups to build up enough strength to beat the crap out of Peter and David. Actually, that might be what he's doing, come to think of it. Hey Davey - you might want to stop singing that 'pa-pa-pa-pa, pa-pa-pa-pa, pa-poke-you-in-the-face' song.

For months now, Sami has been trying to roast marshmallows. On his birthday, we tried again.

This time, the birthday boy came prepared with enough wood, lighter fluid, and marshmallows to ensure victory. Our dentist thanks you, Salami!

Sami may have taught Smorgasbord 101, but Mama was the Prof for How to be a Swinger 202.

She may have taught David how to push a little too hard, though.

At least Tom did not get sick and vomit on anyone. Speaking of vomit, isn't this sickening?

If Dalia sees this, I can only hope for Chiara's sake that Peter paid attention in my 'Back-pedalling 303' course.

Peter's heart must have been beating so loudly that his ear drum burst and we needed to go to the ear doctor's again.

At least this time, there were no stinky foreigners in the waiting room. After a long wait and a short examination, Peter joined Mama's antibiotic doping. Peter was feeling better sooner than Angie, though, because the doctor had misdiagnosed Angie and had prescribed antibiotics for a viral infection. We fixed that by switching doctors along with the medicine and Angie was soon on the road to recovery. To help things along, the boys made get well cards.

Ok, actually they just took crayons and markers to the carpet, walls and bed frame, but they did manage to get some on the paper as well. It cheered up Sickalina slightly, but she has yet to see the damage done to their room. I think I will wait a while on that one and then try to blame our cat.

Since Angie was bedridden for over a week, the boys and I got to bond. We bonded, and bonded, and then bonded some more. We bonded so much, in fact, that I dumped kids 1 and 2 off at Barb's for an overnighter. Thanks again, Barb - my ears love you.

I picked the boys up and let Opa take them on a driveby in his convertible.

The three hoodlums pimped Opa's ride and then racked out, gangsta-style.

After powernaps and a bribe of special treats, I got the kids out of Angie's sick hair again. We picked up Sarah and her two kids and walked about town getting disapproving looks from other parents with less than five kids that shouted quit procreating. Okay, but the only other fun thing to do is to go get ice-cream. Either way, someone is going to get fat.

Speaking of fatties, check out these two...

After our calorie infusion, we took a stroll to a local park. It was fun, but Sarah was being a real baby.

At least the kids were behaving. Kinda. David found a big pile of rocks and decided that they must be thirsty.

Alessio and Chiara joined in and soon the tiny pond was completely stoned. Dude. The pond wasn't the only one getting a bad case of the munchies.

Tom has two older brothers, so everything he does has to be twice as impressive to get any brotherly awe. He was able to do this by first crawling (yes - real crawling!) over to me while I snacked on his baby cookies. Next, he pulled himself up and stood (yes - real standing!) all on his own. I guess someone really likes his cookies. As an encore, he poked me in my eye as he stole his cookies back. If I reflect too long on the meaning of Tommy's little eye-poke, I may wind up poking him back. Besides, we had to go find another window to blowfish.


  1. Zoo is right, I loved the shot in the ball cage. "Please get me out of here." Kudos to you for snapping the picture before rescuing him. A true Dad maneuver. He'll thank you someday.

  2. Hahahaha!!! Man, that ball cage pic is Legit!:) Too many funnies... XY pigtail, baby clapping, thirsty pond rock throwing.... all your pictures are perfect... really funny stuff, Steve!! :D

  3. Chris: he won't be thanking me. As soon as he is old enough to read and big enough to beat me up, this site is going underground.

    Emily: Thanks, I was going to include the shot with them wearing White Sox jerseys and caps, but I thought you might catch the next plane and freak out all over them. Go Cubs.