Saturday, August 23, 2008

Animals attack innocent bystander

The animals broke out of their cages at dawn and attacked Sebastian, who slept at the zoo last night. It's his own fault. Our kids smell fear like sharks smell blood. It drives them nuts and they immediately go for the throat. Luckily for Sebastian, our little sharkies don't bite; they tickle.

Kate came by for lunch, but she is on this freaky diet where she doesn't eat food, so I had to leave. I snatched up the kids and headed to Burger King where I ate an extra burger just for Kate. She is pregnafied as well, so I am sure her and Angie had lots of swollen-belly stories to exchange.

At Burger King, the main attention grabber was the indoor playground which the boys quickly took over. It did not take them long to scare away the few children playing. Then they began chasing each other in circles and shouting. The screaming and yelling continued as they climbed ladders, swung on ropes and slid down tubes.

At one point, David somehow managed to fall from the top level of the play set. I was quietly sipping a coffee when I heard WHUUUMPFH! I looked over and David had done a complete face-plant on the floor. Luckily, the floors were actually very thick cushioned mats.

Other parents stared at me. I sipped my coffee. David got up and glanced angrily at the floor and then took off chasing Peter again. The other parents stared at me again. I ordered another coffee.

I came home and dumped the kids with Angie so I could go get my hair cut. When I got back, Peter thought it was hilarious to keep calling me a bald eagle over and over again. I don't know where that boy gets his weird sense of humor.

In the afternoon, I created a treasure hunt for the boys. I read the clues to Peter and he was really good at finding the next one. David was really good at ripping up the clues that Peter found, which only pissed Peter off. That, of course, made it that much more fun for David.

After dinner, we had ice-cream instead of ice-pops. Oddly enough, after last night's dessert fiasco, David did not offer Mama any of his ice-cream. I still felt Angie was due some payback from last night, so I huddled the boys together in the kitchen and we hatched 'a plan'.

Peter sat down casually and began licking his ice-cream. After a second or two, he turned and said: 'Mama, my ice-cream smells funny'. As Angie leaned in to smell, Peter shoved the ice-cream up her nose. And then ran. Laughing.

Angie turned to me, visibly pissed. I didn't make eye contact, though. No. I just sipped my coffee.
1) What was the best part of your day?
Peter: When I go'ed with you to the playground and played football there.
David: When I said Mama po-po, not my Papa po-po and I play with my ball and Peter.

2) What was the worst part of your day?
Peter: When in my head I thought mommy was out and wanted to go and I cried.
David: When I Gizma scratch me.

3) What would you like to do tomorrow?
Peter: To play that lion game.
David: When I watch the Little Princess.

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