Saturday, August 30, 2008

Throw another shoe on the barbie

SpongeBob has a spatula, so I thought I would score some very unneeded cool points with the kids if I took over as Le Chef. What SpongeBob fails to tell everyone, though, is how much damn smoke can come from even the tiniest of grills. I would hate to see the lungs on that freaky little sponge.

Today I invited my team over for a well-deserved BBQ. Peter helped me set up the tables, which pretty much meant he sat on the bench eating candy and watching me build everything. At least he is not old enough to make any wise-ass comments. Yet.

David helped out by taking an early nap. Enough said.

Angie helped by going to pick up some more ice because my dumb ass only bought enough ice to cool approximately two cans of soda before melting away. I blame that one on global warming. That and being a moron.

Gizma didn't really help, but she did try to eat her own tail for almost an hour, which I found immensely amusing.

The BBQ itself went great. Hamburgers, hot dogs, chicken and lamb steaks with side dishes galore. With all that food, I was not surprised at all when Peter and David ate candy for dinner and sodas for dessert. I was surprised, though, when Peter lost his shoes. How the hell can you lose your shoes? In case anyone wants an answer to that rhetorical question, ask Peter - he's the little blond kid running around barefoot.

Dalia stopped by as the party was winding down. Not surprising, her arrival had just the opposite effect with Peter and David, who started winding up again. Needless to say, putting the boys to bed was not easy. I compare it to putting a bag over your head and trying to catch a couple of greased pigs who, after being caught, find it absolutely hilarious that you have them pinned to the bed in a full nelson screaming at them to GO TO SLEEP NOW! For anyone wanting to know - this technique does not work.

As I disappeared to get the duct tape and sleeping pills, the boys both racked out big time; I'm talking major snores that could even compete with Angie. Peter's feet were sticking out as I tucked him in. As I covered his toes, I noticed the grass stains, cuts and scrapes that covered the bottom of his feet. Jesus! Someone should put some shoes on that kid! Oh, yeah, that's right...
[David's head was spinning around too fast to concentrate on Ladder Talk]
1) What was the best part of your day?
Peter: Was when I had with you and your work friends a party.

2) What was the worst part of your day?
Peter: When I could go so fast over the thistles.

3) What would you like to do tomorrow?
Peter: To play Hippo Flip.

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