Saturday, December 6, 2008


Today was St. Nikolaus day. Interesting tradition, actually. The kids place a filthy, stinking boot outside the front door. If nobody steals the shoe overnight, this freaky-looking bishop with a flowing white beard stops by and drops off a shitload of sweets and games. This year, the game was called Hucke-Peter, which has these hunched-over figures meant to symbolize St. Nick's burden of carrying all those gifts on his back. Angie has carried three burdens herself, but they were not on her back.

After the kids had their fill of stinky candy, they got really stinky. Then I bathed them. Then I used a very clean boot to kick them out of the nest for a while.

Peter was the first one to get booted. Angie dropped him off at a birthday party up at the castle. The birthday girl was Anna and the theme was princesses. I do occasionally put my foot down, so Peter went as a prince.

In the photos from this birthday party, it becomes painfully obvious that Peter does not have an attention span. In one picture, all the little princes and princesses were huddled together to take a nice group picture. All the kids were staring at the camera except Peter and Dalia, who were grinning at each other like village idiots.

In another scene, the boys are lined up on one side with the girls facing them. The boys were supposed to bow and the girls curtsey. Peter took this as a sign that he should wander off and check out the drapery. My hope is that he simply confused curtsey and curtain.

While Peter was off being all princely, David was helping Sami cut down trees. David loves destruction of any kind, so he had a blast. Sami certainly enjoyed the cheap labor and Mama and Papa, like Depeche Mode, enjoyed the silence.

After covering yourself in bark, sap, and tree grime, there is little else you can do other than to go on a merry-go-round. The Christmas market is conveniently right around the corner, so Sami unwittingly volunteered himself for a few more hours of David patrol when he tried dropping off Lumberjack Johnson.

David did not last long, though. Something about any level of physical activity just tuckers the poor boy out. Sami and Woody came back at about the time I left to pick up the Fresh Prince.

As I approached the birthday house, I heard an ever-increasing roar and almost turned back. My strong desire to continue raising Peter gave me the courage to make it to the front door. As it opened, a shock wave of noise blew back my hair and rattled my teeth. In the air, I smelled sugar.

As I fought my way past hyperactive princes and princesses, I found Peter in the living room, alone on the sofa.

Peter, what's wrong?

Nothing. Why?

You tell me. Every other kid in this place is royally rioting. Why are you so mellow?

I am waiting for my hotdog.

Your what?

At some point shortly before I arrived, Prince Peter had demanded a hotdog. I know from experience that hosting a full-blown birthday party is stressful. Throw princesses on top of that and you can forget it. I am quite sure the last thing the hostess wanted was to start preparing dinner for the royal court. This did not phase Prince Wiener, though. At least he thanked the fair lady when his feast arrived.

When the boys were once again reunited, they hugged and gave each other big kisses. I almost puked. I guess absence does make the heart grow fonder. At least for two minutes. After that, absence, at least for our boys, makes them want to beat the crap out of each other. Maybe they're just making up for the lost time.

At one point, Angie dove in to break up the two wrestlers. She ended up with David climbing her back as she tried to block Peter from denting David's forehead. I was standing in the doorway cracking up and from my point of view, she definitely looked like a Hucke-Mom.
Ladder Talk:
1) What was the best part of your day?
Peter: When Katherina and Sami came.
David: When Sami and Kika come, ok? We make that tree go down.

2) What was the worst part of your day?
Peter: When I cried 'cause I got this owa 'cause I tried to do it off and that hurt.
David: When I fall and I have an owa and then I cry.

3) What would you like to do tomorrow?
Peter: To go to Sami's and do the marshmallows and do what David did.
David: When Peter and I go shankel-bahn.

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