Sunday, December 14, 2008

Bulb Busters

Angie is a packrat living in denial. The Marshmallow Man featured here is the soon-to-be-destroyed evidence of said packratting. I would like to be able to tell you that Angie's 'collections' first started with this Stay Puft figure from the 1984 Ghostbusters movie. I would also like to say that the boys did not break any bulbs during this year's Christmas tree decorating, but that would be a little like me claiming that Peter can whistle.

Over the many, many, many, many years since her conception, Angie the rat has horded, in addition to Mr. Smorgasbord, the following items:

  • Pokey, a dog knitted by Grams. The fact that Grams was knitting should indicate just how old this little treasure has been collecting dust.

  • Lurky, the big-nosed color-hater from the RainbowBrite commune. I have a big nose and I hated 'The Color Purple', but hopefully Lurky is not the reason why Angie loves, adores, and worships me so much.

  • A Ziploc baggie of hair from Angie's first haircut. Ok, that is just plain disgusting. What's next? Toe nail clippings? Skin flakes? A basket for It to put the lotion in?

  • Two braids from when Grams was a child. Ah, that explains where she gets it from.
Trimming the Christmas tree is always a nice family event. Each member can gently unpack his or her ornament and spend hours finding the exactly perfect spot on the tree to display these tiny orbs of years gone by. This year, Angie was stuck on the sidelines watching the rest of us as she fed Tom, burped Tom, fed Tom again, changed Tom, burped Tom and then fed Tom again. During one of Tom's 'bodily function breaks', she meandered over to the tree to admire our hard work.

The lights look like crap!

Thanks, O' great bringer of joy and happiness. I think Tom is burpy.

We ignored Negative Nancy and her little injection of holiday spirit. After the many boxes of bulbs were emptied, I asked if we would be putting on tinsel this year. The word tinsel apparently makes Grams giggle and crack up laughing for two minutes and thirty-four seconds, although I am not sure why. Ok, no more eggnog for Grams.

Barbara came today with a little surprise for the boys. Her name was Lola and she drooled more than Angie on our first date.

She tried to score points with Ms. Pac-rat by showing her how much she likes marshmallows. Angie do I put this? Not amused. Slightly irritated. An unhappy camper. Barbara do I put this? Not giving a shit. Papa should I put this? Abso-freakin-lutely loving the impending WWF Sister Smackdown.

Lola continued to chew on Angie's childhood collectible until it had no arms and could no longer Stay Puft. It did, however, start making rather odd whistling noises that clearly made Angie mad and Peter jealous.
Ladder Talk:
1) What was the best part of your day?
Peter: To see a present already under the tree even when it's Christmas not.
David: When I say goodnight to Mama and Tom.

2) What was the worst part of your day?
Peter: When David's belly hurt.
David: When Tom and I cry 'cause I owa here in my belly.

3) What would you like to do tomorrow?
Peter: To go to Toys-R-Us.
David: When Peter here sleep.

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