Monday, December 29, 2008

It begins with the letter M

The last time I took Peter to see a movie, it ended in disappointment, tears, and laughing. Yes, it happened in that order, but to avoid being painted as a complete jackhole, the laughing did not come until hours after our failed movie outing. Even then, though, Peter did not join my chuckling. Neither did Mama. Come to think of it, I may have been the only one clutching my belly. Oh, well. It was hilarious, in a cruel-father kinda way.

This time around, I made sure to keep our movie adventure a big secret all morning in case things did not work out. Peter, like Mama, does not do well with secrets, so I had to give him a few hints.

'It begins with the letter M.'

'Is it a Monster?'

'No, your big surprise is not that Papa decided to take his first-born to be eaten by Modzilla. Guess again.'

'Is it a Monkey?'

'Yes. Last night I kidnapped Curious George and we are now en route to a secret hide-out where I have the nosey little primate shackled to a radiator.'

I quickly realized that four-year olds do not understand sarcasm. They do know a lot of words that being with the letter M, though. Halfway through the drive, I began thinking of some that begin with the letter F.

Grams met us at the mall and treated us to a nice lunch at an Italian restaurant. As we entered, Peter turned to me and screamed 'PIZZA!' in a triumphant 'I know I got the answer right' tone and waited for my praise and admiration. I thought of many, many cruel retorts, but after Peter's little outburst, everyone in the restaurant was now gawking in our direction. I decided to tone down my response.

'Pizza? Pizza! That begins with a P, as in Peter, as in YOUR NAME. I said M, as in Moron and no, we are not going on a farewell visit to the White House.'

I then waved to the nice families whispering to each other and pointing at me. I even used more than one finger, just to make Angie happy. After that, I continued with my mental list of words that begin with F. So far, I only had one, but it was certainly a catchy one.

Two of the three pizza pies ended up in David's hair, which was my cue to take Peter and try to quietly disappear for Peter's BIG SURPRISE. Peter tried to make his sudden departure a little easier on David by screaming 'bye-bye Davey-Pavey - me and Papa are going for my surprise and oh, by the way, you can't come.'

I was moved by Peter's touching remarks, but moved even more by David testing out his lungs as soon as it dawned on him what was happening. As it turned out, Peter's surprise was also a surprise of sorts for David. Tom was also crying, but for completely different reasons.

Halfway through the film, Peter learned what a villain is and thought it was necessary that everyone in the theater also knew. 'That lion is the BAD LION!!' was screamed at least twice before I could get my hand over his mouth and explain the quiet rules of the cinema one more time.

Peter loved the popcorn, loved the chocolate M&M's, loved the Coca Cola that he is normally not allowed to drink, loved the movie, and afterwards, he gave me a big hug and whispered in my ear that he loved me. Man, that was the best 200 bucks I have ever spent.

Later that night, I tucked the boys into bed and went out to drink a beer and talk to Angie. In that order, by the way. As I took the first sip of my fourth beer, David started screaming. I ran into the bedroom surprised to find Peter, not David, crying.

'I said I was sorry so many times, but he still say that he will tell Papa on me for banging and I said already that I was already sorry and that I stop now. Sorry.'

After a few minutes, I pieced together that David had been trying to go to sleep. The leftover caffeine had obviously affected the Coca Cola kid, who was wide awake and simply trying to annoy David. Peter accomplished this by knocking softly on his bed post and whispering to David that a ghost was trying to eat him.

How do I know this? Because David told me as soon as I walked in. Yes, tonight David learned the thrill of ratting on his brother. Peter was shocked by this new development, making me think that he might have been the culprit on many other occasions when I responded to David's screams. It was still funny, though, in a cruel-sibling kinda way.
Ladder Talk:
1) What was the best part of your day?
Peter: When I had that movie surprise.
David: When Peter and me play.

2) What was the worst part of your day?
Peter: When David keeps putting the rope around my head and neck while I am doing Ladder Talk.
David: When Tom cry when I pulled that thing and bonk Tom on his head and I cry too.

3) What would you like to do tomorrow?
Peter: To play with David and Kika and all we know costumes.
David: When Zack and Owen come again.

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