Monday, December 22, 2008

My Cousin Patrick

Never give a dog a name with the word 'no' in it, such as Bruno. You should also never give a kid a name with the word 'trick' in his name, especially if that little boy has a twinkle in his eyes that gives away his passion for playing tricks.

Patrick, also known as 'P²' showed up at the Zoo today half-asleep. Or was he half-awake? We'll never know. The boys jolted his system with a full dose of 'hey, let's go break shit', so he at least hit the ground destroying.

In addition to Patrick, my sister Christine brought along little Stephanie, hairy George and 38 suitcases. Apparently the airports no longer have a weight limit, but our apartment does. The unneeded 37 bags had to form a landing pattern in our hallway. At one point, Chris asked for her slippers. 'Not those, my other pair of slippers'. Ah, ok. That explains it.

Like my father's last fly-by, my sister's one-day visit was too short. I am really beginning to wonder if we stink. Since Angie has told me that she smells like roses, it must be me. I will clean my smelly body with the tears that I will start shedding any minute now. Really.

The boys went from , 'hey, what's your name again?' to 'I don't remember you, so I am going to be shy' to 'I'm going to headbutt you if you do that again, you little jerk' in approximately four minutes. I love kids. If humans could interact with such honesty, I am quite certain we would all be glowing in the dark by now.

I think I have found the only picture known to mankind where Peter is not staring into the lens:

Either George's side of the family loves George's side of the family, or Patrick and Stephanie get that 'camera hog' gene from the Johnson side of chaos. Either way, check out the hot guy taking pictures!

Before going to bed, I needed to first make them a bed. Being the simple simpleton I am, I simply threw down a ton of mattresses and tried to convince the boys that it was like a big Christmas summer camp. They loved the HUGE sleeping bag I made and decided that Peter and David's Ladder Talk ladders would serve well as diving boards into cushion lake.

Despite what it might look like, Peter is not yanking Patrick's ear; his arm really is behind Patrick's back. It might also look like Peter and David are so high on crack-sugar that their hair is standing up. No comment.

Like any heroine addict will tell you, it is the first few hours of withdrawal that are the hardest. You toss, you turn, you shove strange sucking devices into your mouth. In the end, it does not really matter. What goes up always ends up drooling all over the pillow in the end.

Ladder Talk:
1) What was the best part of your day?
Peter: When Patrick came and we played with him.
David: When Patrick come and his mommy.
Patrick: Eating, um, corn and pork chops.

2) What was the worst part of your day?
Peter: When David pushed me when I was here.
David: When Stephanie again cry - that was a big cry and she no happy.
Patrick: When this was opened, I saw dark coming out of the window and I think he a big monster.

3) What would you like to do tomorrow?
Peter: To play with Patrick jumping.
David: When Stephanie come again and she not crying.
Patrick: I would like to go on the train.

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