Thursday, December 4, 2008

This is my happy face, where's yours?

Tom learned to smile the other day and now he won't stop. It's really freaking me out. Every time you look at him, he's just sitting there, grinning and gumming away. I don't know where he found the happy pills, but he certainly could have shared some with Mama today.

Angie woke up in a horrible mood. Yes, I can say that. This is my blog. If you were to read Angie's blog, it would probably say something like 'Steve was being a real ass this morning'.

I am not so worried, though, since writing a blog involves a bit more than turning on a computer. Along with stoves and the bottom of our hamper, Angie is also frightened of technology. That's beside the point, though, since she was not even annoyed at me. That may change when she reads this, but by then it will be a new day and there will be a whole new series of things to annoy Angie.

The source of her foul mood stemmed from an utter lack of sleep. The logical assumption might be that Tom was up all night again. Or that Peter had a leg ache. Or that David had a bloody nose. Or that Papa was reading her love poetry all night. All of these things actually happened last night, except for that lovey-dovey shit of course.

No, in the end it was the Blue Morpho Butterfly that haunted Angie's dreams all night and robbed her of her good mood sleep. Who the hell has nightmares about butterflies? Other than whacky Angie, I mean.

I jumped out of the shower this morning to find my lovely wife cursing in the kitchen. This, by itself, is not unusual, since Angie and the kitchen have been bitter enemies for years. As I walked in, I silently noted the four trash bags that were ripped to shreds and scattered about the floor. Angie was clutching the fifth one in her hands and struggling to get it to fit in our 'slightly larger than standard' trashcan. As I approached, Angie whipped around and pierced me with 'the look'. What?!

I tried to think of something witty to say, like 'hey, wasn't that funny how I replaced all the trash bags with those smaller ones?' In the end, I had no time for a smartass comment. Angie shoved the roll of extremely irritating trash bags in my chest and walked past muttering something about Hefty being a big fat bag of waste. Uh, good morning to you, too.

Tom, on the other hand, woke up smiling. I think this annoyed Angie as well, which only made Tom smile more. Eventually, Grumpalina warmed up a bit, but I think it had more to do with the shots of coffee she had been downing non-stop since the 'trashcan' incident. Perfect. Now Angie is furious and completely wired.

Knowing all too well the dangerous effects caffeine can have on pissed off, sleep-deprived moms, I opted to go to work early. On the way out the door, I jokingly asked Angie if I should take out the trash. Bags. Get it? Again, I got 'the look'. One more time today and I get the free set of steak knives. Just don't ask where Angie will put my lovely prize.

Work was ok. At least nobody yelled at me. Towards the end of the day, the cleaning lady came by and emptied my trash. As she filled the can with a new bag, I started cracking up. I got some pretty strange looks from the guys on my team, but that is now a daily event. They probably just assumed that I had popped a few of those happy pills that Angie forgot to take this year. I mean morning.
Ladder Talk:
1) What was the best part of your day?
Peter: When Mara came.
David: When that lion again come in the kindergarten and I say 'no lion' and he go home mommy and crying.

2) What was the worst part of your day?
Peter: When I couldn't play with Dalia today.
David: When the lion not come again.

3) What would you like to do tomorrow?
Peter: To go to Dalia's.
David: When the lion come again.

see related cartoon


  1. Poor Angie. Thank God nobody is writing about my moods!! Angie is a ray of sunshine compared to me.
    Mary G x

  2. Yeah, but sunshine still burns after prolonged exposure. :-)

  3. I had to giggle, it is like a sitcom. Poor Angie -- having to put up with your wit while sleep deprived and irritated. I did have to laugh I was checking out your page here and the Ads by Google was advertising Trash Bags from Papermart...